Good day, Blogaphiles. Today I'm pissed off. So, I have this really nice, sweet BF. He's nerdy, shy, and at times somewhat awkward --but, I like him anyway. Yesterday, while I was at work he sent me something a buddy of his had sent him in an e-mail. And don't get me wrong I have a great sense of humor about this kind of thing and would never want to change a thing about him --it was some costumed demon temptress 17 yr old posing and it had a cute little de-motivator saying on it. I did laugh a little.
So, I sent him back an e-mail with kind of wink that had pics of me in various costumes. I used to be theatre chick so I have about a million pictures in costumes. I also teased that I didn't know he really liked dark haired ladies. So, I got one back today which said that he was indeed partial to raven haired beauties. Really? You're going to be dim enough to send that to your redheaded girlfriend, who you certainly don't compliment enough for her to feel like she is in a stable place with you and who has certain issues because her last BF was constantly looking for better? Oh, and hey, how about you not even make one comment about the pictures of me. Don't say one fucking thing, that is just the way to really make me like you, ignore me. I'm about to cry foul. I'm so God damn mad at him right now. Stupid, stupid boy. You like her so very much, fine, you enjoy your picture and I'll start seeing about someone who wants to see my picture, Ass.
As I informed him, that is like telling the bowl of ice cream in front of you that you wish it were a different flavor. I'm really quite proud of being strawberry ice cream and if you don't like it, please push the bowl forward and step away from the table --there are boys lined up who love strawberry. Chocolate is rather common, actually. I'm not. I have always thought my hair color was something that made me special, unique --it's an important keystone of my self esteem and personal beauty self-image.
Boy, oh, boy, it pissed me off. I really like and need sweet things said about me-- I'm a woman and moreover, he needs to start saying things about what he likes about me, not other hoes. Fuck. Patience limit has just been reached. There are many little oddities I am willing to accept with/from a guy. Honestly, as compared to many people I know, I am very accepting of quirks, social slips, and sometimes even downright insults, however this one was a bit of a puncture to the old balloon of my self confidence. So, I put the question forth. Is it really fair that I have to listen to him say other girls are pretty, when he won't tell me that I am? --I suppose that one is fucking rhetorical as I am about as angry with him as I have ever been.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that my BF hurt me in the feelers and probably has no idea that he did it because his communications are sometimes really....unthoughtful. It is really no more than typical guy bullshit, which I should be bright enough to expect and disregard but it still hurt. And now I feel not that pretty at all. Stupid boy.
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