All Things Updated

Sheesh, sorry about the long wait on the blog. I got hella busy. Not like a little busy, crazy-ass busy. So. On Friday last, the bestie got into town and we went out. We met two rather nice gentleman and flirted for a great portion of the night. We started early so I clocked out early too. Very fun. On Saturday, the bestie and I went out and I invited out K (the Ex). Bestie was impressed by this musical knowledge and comfort level around me. We also met up with the boys from the night before, it let me focus on K and gave her someone to talk with so that was good.

Sunday, went to bed early. Monday, night to myself. Tuesday night date...now, this one is a good story. So, we were to meet at Granite City. I got there early and waited for a half hour. He appeared to be another 'no show', went home incredibly angry and frustrated. Waiter felt so bad for me that he let me take home my to-go piece of heartbreak chocolate cake for free. I get an e-mail from the guy and he asks if I stood him up? I was like WTF, you stood me up. So, called his cell which was in the e-mail, and it seems he was at the restaurant while I was, but on the opposite side and both our servers just never looked around like they said they did. So, we meet at Perkins. Talk for three hours, then go home. I get that 'dating kiss of death' the Handshake at the end rather then a good kiss or hug, which kind of sucks because he is handsome and intelligent and really just what I have been looking for. Get overly excited and e-mail him 'Swingers' style saying we should get together because I had a great time. Get a somewhat lukewarm response, then feel silly for doing it at all. Kind of give up.

Wednesday, the bestie and J came over and hung out most of the night at my house. It was nice and we had some good talking going on like usual. Told her all about my date and the ChiWeenie my sister had offered me for free that I want, but turned down because...well, for many reasons, but I still want him really badly anyway. Rather indecisive about that one, even now.

Thanksgiving, I was invited over to the Ex's. Thought it was a little strange that he wants me to meet his parents now that we are totally not dating anymore, but go anyway because I still like him and free food is never turned down. When we pull up to the house in the car he let's me know there will be a bunch of people there. Dang it. Still his family is really nice. His Aunts and Uncles are all sweet people and his parents are a damn riot type hilarious. Everyone was sweet and warm and friendly. Had a lot of fun really. Very aware I still have some residual feelings for the boy because his mom mentioned yet another Wesleyan professor that they know (this one actually plays in the symphony) who is about my age and asks if we had seen her while we were there. I played it off like it was no big deal even though I felt that momentary intense pang of jealousy rise up in my throat, but he said the sweetest thing. He very off-handly just says, "I wasn't even looking for her." It made me feel really proud, like he might only be focused on me when we go out and is a great compliment even if he didn't intend it as one. Even if we are on a shoe string budget right now, it pretty much secured that he is getting a nice Christmas present this year.

This morning. I went to bed at 9pm and woke up bright and early at 3am because it was Black Friday and I wanted to shop. Now I have no money to shop as I have a weird pay schedule, so I went out with my sister and helped her do her shopping. It was fun and she got some really good buys and we had the traditional MacDonald's breakfast at about 5am, then went back to bed and here we are...blogging again about everything. I also managed to find time to send out a bunch of Thanksgiving e-cards that I thought were all really funny. And a nice thank you card in the mail for K's parents. So, there is all that. Today I am also going to a baby shower and tomorrow begins the feeding frenzy that is My family's Thanksgiving activities. :)

Busy Getting Screwed

Wow, so sorry about the long reprieve from the blog. I don't normally do that and it leads to nothing good for me at all. So the story continues.....Everyone has read the previous stuff, right. Mr. No Show became a huge problem. After the last time I told him to piss off this weekend. He called and begged for another chance. We talked for a good hour and he convinced me to give it to him.

So, I was avoiding the blog, because my bestie in her infinite wisdom had asked me please, please, purdy please NOT to speak with this guy again and I was going against this good advice in staying hopeful and speaking with him. Now, nothing good ever comes form out right going around the people who genuinely care about you and their advice. Nothing. Mr. No Show set up two dates with me to make up for his not doing so, one on Wednesday night and one on Thursday.  I was excited. I couldn't help it. I want it to work out. I want someone who will, in fact, be good to me.

Then last night I get the e-mail that once again he is breaking the date. As usual, his excuse is valid. He is putting in an offer on a house. But, it doesn't matter. This was the final straw. I e-mailed him and asked him to stop leading me on. I said that I hated the way he treated me and that it was inconsiderate. I told him I didn't care about his money (he let me know he makes upwards of $70K a year as if that would impress me). I told him I didn't care about his house (I don't like Omaha and I told him this, not to mention I would like to get a house WITH the person I'm going to be with not just live in his.) I said that he simply didn't have the time for me and probably never would, that all I really wanted from him was to know him, be with him and that he couldn't even give me that. Then I told him not to contact me anymore, ever. I'm done with him.

And really I felt bad about it. I still kind of do. It sucks. My sister said, "H, you are too hot to be so understanding. Ugly girls have to be understanding." I laughed and laughed. Yeah, maybe I'm too understanding. I don't know. I never seem to know about these things anymore. I just keep trying until I look pathetic. I needed to really walk away a long, long time ago on this guy. So, no more Mr. No Show. Once again we re-focus on those who really are good to me and care about me and start showing them some love. I am very much looking forward to Best Friends weekend and some real partying.

A Very Twin Peaks Symphany

So, tonight was 'One Thousand and One Nights' at the LSO. It was a good concert. K came over early and I made him cheap food dinner, which consisted of Mac & Cheese, Chicken Fried Steak sandwich, and cheesecake dessert. All in all, not terrible food. Not great or restaurant quality food, but it's something to eat and it won't kill ya. After dinner, he loaded a program on my laptop so I could watch the AVI files he sent me, one of which is the 1980's movie 'Gothic' which I have not seen in years and is one of my very favorite movies. I'm excited to finally get to watch it again, as I all but stole it from my video store when I worked there eons ago, when VHS was THE format.

The symphony was excellent tonight. Very powerful and lively, with some great performances. There was an rythmless old boy behind me that kicked the back of my seat the whole time, but hey, whatever. The second half of the concert there was a guest pianist, whose name was Mark Markham. Poor guy getting a name like that. He also had frilly pretentious pianist hair, all cut for theatricality and movement while he played quite passionately. It was a difficult piece and he did admirably. And he was at the Lied, so he got a standing O like usual. No pantie shots this time as I had planned a better outfit than last time.

But, this fellow was particularly interesting in the fact that he looked very much like the guy from Twin Peaks, Kyle McLaughlin. Dead Ringer, in fact. So, in the car I asked K if he had enjoyed his very special Twin Peaks concert and he bursts out laughing and agrees with me that he did look just the same. It was very, very funny. We laughed and laughed about it. I also told K that I was planning on bringing him out with me and the bestie on Saturday night. I think it would be good for him. Plus, who says 'No, I simply can't hang out with you and your equally hot and fun girlfriend.' No one, that's who. I haven't made a plan yet on what we are doing as we sometimes just play it by ear, but I know that both my bestie and my Ex-BF will have a great time...oh, and I will absolutely have an awesome time. I hope it will be as much fun as tonight was. :)

Nemeses

Great track I discovered while I was bopping around on You Tube. I really love the song....hmmm...hmmm....even the suit has teeth. Lyrically just very cool.

Pizza Rolls

Yo-kay, So what happened with me today....hmm. Mr. No Show, predictably, sent me nothing, even though I sent him another e-mail saying that if he invited me out tonight I would go. I even sent it over a system that uses an android app so I know he got it...because he told me he was having problems with his yahoo mail account. OMG, I am so done with waiting for him to grow a pair. I felt bad and a lot of pity for him, but, it's just done now, he missed f*cking out. On a brighter note, the only boy who really cares, my Ex, sent me something ridiculously funny on the e-mail. Which made me laugh and laugh, then hurt ever so slightly that there seem to be no other animals like him anywhere on this planet. Sigh. So, we made plans for coffee and a movie this evening. The great part is I know it will be totally fun, so I'm very much looking forward to it.

Tonight is my Friday night technically, as a member of the State I get Veteran's day off. I plan on thanking my wonderful veterans by sleeping in tomorrow, maybe even watching some movies in bed. I have not yet decided, but I know it will involve a whole lot of doing nothing, which I am totally excited about.

I have an interview for a newly open internal position. I am also excited about this. The HR rep came in today and asked me to move my interview to today, so I said sure and it was set for 2:30. Well, I am all working right along and 2:30 comes and goes. I check the conference room and the offices and no one is around. Hmmm, odd. So, I just keep waiting. I wait through my break. I wait until I am not sure I can hold it anymore, then have to make a quick trip to the restroom at 3pm. Well, that was when their 1:30 interview finally ended. So, my boss comes over and says we will have to reschedule. He also mentions this woman was 'long winded'. Nice. So, I am all cool about it and say no problem we can do it on Monday, because he knows where I work. So, yeah, really positive.

Oh, and there was an uproar because one of the fat girls there was informed that people were offended when she wore light t-shirts all the time and everyone could see her nipples. Yeah, it bothered me, but I was not the one who complained to HR. So, she is talking about it all day and the dirty old guys in the area are totally on her side that she should be able to let her nipples poke people's eyes out anytime she wishes. I kept my mouth shut. But, yeah, cover it up, I'm pretty liberal, but come on, put a sweater on or something if you can't afford a bra other than a sports bra. Yuck.

Other than that, things just keep rolling along. Weather gets colder, work, very literally, gets poke-ier. We shall see how things go. I have another symphony to go to on Sunday night with K. I already have my outfit all picked out for it. Wish I had a little more money and that I was a little thinner and a little more patient. Still, that is a lot of really good stuff now that I re-read this. Cool.

Popular?

There was perhaps a time when I had resigned myself to being this cat lady in the picture, only with wiener dogs. They do provide a great deal of heat. But, somehow with the new job and the weight loss, I have become....hold your breath, wait for it.....popular, somehow.

And I'm not dealing very well with it. Really, I don't know how to handle it...I've never been popular. I have one or two good friends and look around constantly for a nice boyfriend, but that's it. So, in the last day after...being less than kind to Mr. No Show...who called no less than three times to beg forgiveness and try to set something up. I also got an offer to meet with another dude, S, who seems...okay, I suppose, on the dating website. Which I kind of got back on out of shear spite. He texts articulately, which is a new one and very appealing, I won't lie. He is into sports and has a good job. Then, I am out with girlfriends last night and one of them says, 'I have his friend of mine's brother who would like to be hooked up with a girl? What do you think about that?' And I think on it for a minute and I say, 'Well, I can't really turn down a date, so I suppose yes.' So, she may be 'hooking me up' with some dude in the near future. It would still be a very blind date, I'm sure. Then there is the absolute conundrum of my Ex, who, to put it very simply, is the best date ever and only gets better as I know him longer (which NEVER happens, like ever), who I would rather just hang out with than take that crappy first date plunge with any other guy and simply, unknowingly keeps pulling at that ducktape I have all over my heart, at this point. Even my family likes him and they keep asking me what I did wrong on that one. I honestly wish I knew, People. What to do...what to do.

I'm starting to get alittle afraid. I have no idea what they want anymore....offer them sex and they don't want sex. Offer them caring and nurturing and they don't want that. Offer to listen and they don't feel like talking. It's like an odd push and pull tango. Forward, forward, back, back. I rather wish it were simple...uhm, let's see, you right there, I'll take you. That's it, deal done. Everything is so complex. I like you, but you don't like me....or I like you, but you seem to be a liar and yank my chain all the time.....or I'm very loyal and you prefer to cheat with anything that will hold still long enough.

One works to improve one's self, but then all kinds of people talk about you behind your back at work because they are 300lbs and you work out. Or that guy at work who sees you every day finds subtle ways to make you feel kind of harassed -like you wear a blue dress and he plays songs about girls in blue dresses or you wear jeans and he plays 'Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On' by Mel McDaniel or you are thirty years younger than him and he plays 'Born Too Late' by the Poni-tails...the list goes on. It's starting to wear on my tolerance just a little. It makes me wish just a bit that they would all leave me alone....except for K, of course, who I wish was interested still and simply isn't. Yep, all tied up in my mind about this. Can't stand to ponder it anymore. I never thought I would ever have a time when I was worried about too many boys liking me...I just want one.

Been Had

Okay, this one has to be quick as I am headed to work, but I thought I would let everyone know that I am a gullible idiot.

Mr. No Show has been telling me that he is in the hospital in Omaha with a severe case of pneumonia. I have been feeling really bad for him and sending him e-mails and even calling him --only to get no responses or have to leave messages. I thought this was because he was very sick. So, this morning I get onto the dating website and go to his profile and wouldn't you know it, that loser got on-line right after he made me leave a message on his phone. Too sick to talk to me or respond to an e-mail, but not too sick to stay off the dating website. So,  I sent him an e-mail to tell him to lose my number and forget that I ever talked to him. What a f*cking jackass.

I am so mad that I believe him even for a second. Boys are awful liars and I know better at this point. I swear it's like I put the 'hopeless' in hopeless romantic somedays. 

Con Pictorial Two

After finishing that Pokemon, Bear wanted some of my Mt. Dew. I told him to piss right off.

Sister A finally found her perfect boyfriend. And oddly, it was not Horse-amatron, like we all figured it would be.

My little sisters, being themselves.

Furries, for dudes who like to touch hot chicks in costumes on the butt and get away scott free.

Now, these are what Big, Bad Wolves look like, Kids. Just kidding, they were all very nice...ooh and so soft. :)

Bear teaching me how to growl properly. He's really good at it. I could use some practice.

Ah, I thought he was a little short to be a storm trooper. I am such a fan girl. I love the troopers. And from the look of it, so does Bear. Naughty Bear.

I can drive that loader....OMG there are Predators all over this place.

No Iron Man? Yeah, I'll settle for War Machine, he'll do fine.

Sister D found her own Jack Harkness. She spotted him immediately. Somebody watches way too much Torchwood.

Yeah, well, no bear is perfect. Even after the Pokemon, he was just a little hungry. Luckily A was right there to pull him off. We all looked pretty delicious. I understand the temptation was just too much for him. Poor Baby.

Con Pictorial

Made a new friend. Bear is teaching me how to stalk prey.

Yeah, I know the King and, yeah, he's totally creepy in person.

OMG Wicket is super cute in person.

Hey, I'm super cute in person, too. When I told D a 'short' kimono, she interpreted this as needing to show some cheek --I luckily had brought leggings. Luckily.

Bear got hungry and ate a f*cking Pokemon. Damn it, Bear.

Help me, Obi-Won Kinobi, You're my last hope....

Well, maybe not my last hope....I found this furry storm trooper.

Okay, Bear, was that a boy in drag or a very flat real girl or a girl that looked like a boy in drag?

The three of us in our costumes. Having a fabulous time at Nebraskon 2011. D made all three costumes, inspired by Transformers for A. I'm supposed to be homaging Bumblebee, A is Optimus Prime, and D would be Red Alert. Really, we looked like a bunch of primary colored geisha, but fabulous geisha nonetheless.

Settling Down

Ha, ha, so...last night after Mr. No Show e-mailed me, I e-mailed K because I was pissed and already dressed up. And do you know what? He e-mailed me back in like ten minutes and we went for coffee. I even invited him back to my place for some MST3K shorts, which were hilarious. I mean, he didn't really look incredibly comfortable (the only place to sit is my bed, so I get it) but, it was still fun and I know that if I keep showing him that I will not rape him, eventually he will relax. Eventually.

Mr. No Show called right after I left the house for coffee. The roomates told him I had gone for coffee. So, he even e-mailed me two hours later and told me he had tried to call and invite me out. So, I guess I was supposed to be waiting at home for his call, as he seemed a little miffed about it. Not my fault he can't make a plan and stick to it. I e-mailed him and asked him to schedule something on Sunday, but have yet to get a response. He just won't schedule anything. He wants to be able to call me and have me run....and that shit just doesn't fly with me. I'm not that girl...not sure if he knows that one yet, but he should. That kind of behaviour indicates a direct lack of consideration for the individual. Duh. Yeah, I know you're busy....guess what...I'm busy, too.

I have to admit. I am normally a very 'on top' of my feelings person, but these boys lately have been confusing me. I understand K is a friend, and a very good one at that, but why is he the perfect boyfriend suddenly that I can't have? And the boys who come on strong and talk dirty, exciting talk can't seem to even schedule a date on which to make good on some of these sexual promises. It seems kind of unfair. It's not even really hard to date me --most of the time I pay for my own stuff, I'm funny and easy-going, and not just that....shit, I'm easy in all senses of the word, all they really have to do is ask and use protection. Come on. I'm unbelievably thoughtful, I make stuff for them, I buy them gifts, I wear some of the nicest clothes. I shave and put on date underwear for every boy. I make sure I use products that keep my skin and hair incredibly soft. I even work out so I can rock the top and they don't have to do any work. What the hell is going on? Sigh. I guess I just keep trying. It seems I have become, indeed, Prettier, Smarter, Funnier, but that a lot less single part is f*cking killing me.

On a positive note, the bestie is doing alright. Things are not perfect, but she is okay and will continue to be, I'm sure. The turmoil around the house has calmed and seems to have blown over. My work is still good and I have today off, which is blissful (I totally slept in today). I have a fun weekend with sisters 4 and 5 and it should be a very good time. I have a slight sinus headache, but it is going away.

Kitty Amazing!

Dude, I laugh every single time  I watch this one. So, things since Monday....hmmm. Halloween was fun. Work was okay, it's still kind of fun most days. There was an incident on Tuesday where someone brought donuts than no one said they would take them home. So, I said I would take them home and a half hour after that the box mysteriously disappeared (which I will say hurt my feelings a little, but fuck it they are just stupid donuts, who cares).

Last night, I had dinner with K at Rib Ranch. We discussed his vacation last week and he got me a little magnet from the museum, which I kind of was jealous I did not get to see. He had a good time and that is a good thing. Then he broke a cardinal rule and asked me for some fashion advice. Bam. I wanted to dress him like a damn paper doll, so I made up a little fashion manual for him to take with him when he went shopping for new work clothes for his new job. I hope he gets a couple of the things on there as I would love to see him update his style alittle. Not that I totally want him wandering around looking totally hot so all the girlies after him make it so he has no time for important things --like me, but he could be very, very good looking in the appropriate attire. And as a friend, I want that for him.

Also, on the menu for the evening may be....and this is a definite maybe....date with the boy I am terming 'Mr. No Show' as it has been a long time coming for him to set something up. Still, I am mildly excited to see what he comes up with. Who knows, it could be good, gotta keep an open mind, I suppose. Ah, wait a second....I just got an e-mail that says he is still sick so now he wants to move it to Sunday night, if I get home from the conference early. Not gonna lie. Really, really disappointed about this. Fuck.

And....the bestie has been incommunicado for like four or five days. I'm starting to get really worried about her. There was a rash of relationship problems floating in her neck of the woods and to put it mildly, they have been all around lately. Like scary bad problems. And her lack of communication is always a good indicator that something is wrong. So, if I don't blog for a few days, it will be because I am in KY forming a search party for her.