Mayhem

Trying to relax is pissing me off. I am feeling extremely restless tonight. Another crazy pre-full moon hormone attack. I thought perhaps the exhausting work load would smother some of the inclinations I have for vices, but the freedom of days off makes tonight my Friday night and I want it. Damn it, I want it terribly.

Thinking some very naughty thoughts tonight. Keep me wanting long enough and I'll break. Explode figuratively and blow the world's mind with tickling, arch-welding sparks. My skin itches and sizzles with that full on creeping sensation of anticipation licking up my spine. The mind outstretching my small body, peering for greener pastures of nephilic intellect and naked cabana boys. I'm begging for the addictive endorphins of an over the top shopping spree or the rapturous comfort of a squirt or two of Oxycontin, and having to settle for the familiar cortex-tural stroke of the '-ines' of caffeine and nicotine. But, it stares me in the face...more, more, more.  I want more, more, more. It's so much easier to laugh with it than to fight against it. It is the nature of it, to have so much wild free fire that it implodes inward, consumes itself with the desire to be placed inside where it can do the most damage.

It seems my stream of consciousness is more of a spray of...we'll say, champagne, however it is more or less simply a desire to have my cork popped, if you know what I'm saying.