Hand Holding

Never again, Tim Tebow, never again...

So, last night's date went well. We had dinner then went to see Super 8, which was really pretty good. Had some really well placed scares that surprised me at least twice and that is saying something.

Slightly disappointing was that he had, in fact, finished the manuscript for the vampire story, but seemed slightly unwilling to talk about it, which made me feel like…embarrassed, I guess. He said he needed to ‘digest’ it. But, I think has been at home Googling ‘how not to piss off your writer girlfriend when you hate what she has written’, probably most of the night. Either that or planning on how to lure me to his church to have exorcised my demons, so I can be a nice, quiet Mary Jane wearing girl as I was destined to be. Sometimes he is so damn hard to read –most people I can read pretty easily, but his signs are so subtle and can be mistaken for other things so easily. It is almost a Holmse-istic study in observation to figure out what he is thinking.

So, I also let him know that he got Saturday 7/9 for my b-day. And he made a really great suggestion – he said, “There’s always Omaha, since it’s a Saturday.” And I was like, yeah, that would be totally fun. In fact, I know he’s thinking night time activities, but I love the Henry-Doorly. I am kind of hoping he suggests we make a little day trip up to the zoo and walk around –it is like date perfect and I love the zoo. Plenty of time for talking, cool animals, great opportunities for pictures. Yeah, that would be pretty spectacular. I'm kind of excited/anxious to see what he comes up with really. I know it is cruel to simply throw it at him and say figure it out --but, sometimes it would be nice to be surprised and not have to tell him exactly what I want (know that he put some thought into it, know what I'm saying?).

Three Fifty!

OMG, I love the funny picture I found for today's blog. I laugh at it every damn time I see it. South Park reference, if you didn't already know that one.

Lots of things happening today.  I talked to my good friend D, from college, she invited me to a bbq at her new house in Auburn, but I can not make it as I start the soul crushingly long 6/30 to 7/5 closing everynight schedule tomorrow at work. I really wanted to go as she just got a new dog, named Woody, who I would really like to meet. And see her and J again, as it has been nearly a year since I've seen them. We talked for a good hour on the phone today about this-that-and-the-other. I really miss her.

And speaking of missing, my bestie H e-mailed me and she will be in town from 6/30 to 7/9 --unfortunately I have exactly one day off while she will be in town. So, now I get to decide if I relegate that to 'date night' with my charming BF or get to spend it with my out-of-state bestie. I am severely torn about it as I like them both. It is sad when you have so many wonderful people in your life --but neither the time nor the money to spend with them. Quandaries such as this suck a big fat one. I have requested 7/8 off, but if I don't get it then I still have to go in. However, I do have time off coming up on 7/9 so I was going to set up a date that Saturday night (I was kind of hoping against hope that my BF will plan something fun for my birthday as it is the next day, but I think that maybe laying a bit too much on him, at this point.) Ah, so, after having blogged it out --bestie gets Wednesday, BF gets Saturday. I get --tired. :)

With that said, tonight is once again the spledid and mystical 'date night'. We are going to dinner and a movie. I believe it's dinner at Don & Millies, then we will probably go see Super 8. Now, previously I wanted to go see Green Lantern in 3-D, but Super 8 was the one the BF wanted to see. Plus, it showed up on my movie coupons this week, so it would be highly discounted admission. So, this is not, I repeat for emphasis, NOT, me caving to see what he wants to see because I cave all the time --it is me being practical and sensible with my money while at the same time getting the opportunity to please the BF by giving him what he wants. So, really bonus, bonus on this one. Either way, it will be fun so I am looking forward to it immensely.

Yes, we do, Henry...

Of course, we like our heads attached to our bodies, as well. Ha, ha.

Interesting things today. So, I had innocently forgotten, as the BF has been nice enough to e-mail me at my regular e-mail, that my dating profile was still active on that site. Then I got an e-mail today from a rather nice gentleman. I slapped my forehead, I had totally forgotten. So, I got back on and e-mailed back saying I had a rather nice BF from the site, I was very sorry, and best of luck, etc (because really, the only thing more humiliating then being on a dating website is sending out the six million unanswered thoughtful e-mails to people who think they are too good for you based on your picture.) Then I thought about it for a total of ten seconds and deleted my dating profile. Yep, the decision is that we are in it to win it, People. Gonna have fun and make it work. Stopped looking entirely. Got my sights set on him now for the takedown. Don't need to be hunting for other ones, want this one.

This also made me think for a second that, perhaps, just perhaps, I may be one of those corny 'yeah, I have this friend and they found their -insert dating status title here- on website such-n-such...' sort of success story. Which is kind of cool. I know when I started doing it I felt just a little inadequate doing it. As though perhaps I could not find a regular person out in the world so perhaps there was something wrong with me. But, you know what? There is nothing wrong with me other than the fact that I don't get out of the house as much as I should or have a compelling desire to troll around some dimly lit bar full of sickos to find an appropriate guy hidden in among the trash. Not one thing.

Now I'm sure my close friends might disagree slightly, to the effect that yes, like everyone else, I do have flaws. Some of them odd or quirky, some of them more glaring and ugly, but on the whole not as many as you would ever think. In fact, I have things about me that make me an outstanding general girlfriend candidate (who knows if the BF would agree or not) --like...I like football, watch SportsCenter regularly and can talk sports intelligently. I have a very sexual nature and enjoy most pornography, considering this to be a normal part of human behaviour. When I tell you 'I work out' --I really mean it, I exercise pretty darn regularly now. I am a giver, I love to give gifts, and a pleaser, if you're happy then, most of the time, that makes me happy. I prefer action/adventure and sci-fi movies over romantic comedies. I like watching people play video games and if it's a first person shooter, which makes me dizzy and alittle ill, I go into the other room and do my own thing rather than telling you to stop. And whether most people like it or not, I'm honest about almost everything. I don't mind cooking and cleaning, as long as you don't mind doing the dishes (I really hate the dishes). Huh, as compared to the national average --not bad at all really. Ha, ha.

Oh, and I have started clipping coupons. I even got a nifty little accordion style coupon holder for the purse because I had so many. And as I was doing a bunch of clipping last night, I even clipped some for the BF to restaurants he normally goes to. I have no idea if he will want or use them, but I thought it was a nice gesture --you know, kind of an 'I was thinking about you randomly, not while touching myself' sort of thing. I think he'd appreciate that.

LMFAO back again

Okay, I know you are all like, 'H, please stop flooding your blog with music videos...' But, I miss the old MTV and this is the sequel video to Party Rock Anthem which was hilarious --and this one may even be better. Dancing boxhead robot guy is back with some dope moves and DJ Rockin' Jesus saves the day at the end. It kicks a lot of ass. So, I just couldn't help myself.

Money Track

New song --I heard it behind a cell phone commercial on the internet and found it on youtube. It reminds me of the old school Motown stuff my mom and dad used to listen to. Catchy. For all my peeps a day late and a dollar short --as usual. Happens to everybody, hopefully not too often. :)

Three Little Words

Yep, back on a Frankmusik kick this weekend. Sometimes when I go back and listen to something I have listened to before the words make better sense. Like this little ditty perhaps. I attribute the need to go back to looking at my friend's facebook and having it spark a Milli Vanilli track, thank you. However, it was more than made up for by the sweet Beastie Boys video she also had on there.

Still doing more of the same stuff as yesterday, it is also nice to keep up the fierce senitment of the previous days blog as I think I pulled something in my shoulder at work and now that aches, and it has no bearing whatsoever on whether I will be going to work in an hour or not. I did find a fun activity for Wednesday, if the BF has the time. Which is another score for team ME today, as I was really having some issues with finding things to do on a Wednesday that were fun, but not hugely time consuming. So, the old stand-by of dinner and a movie was what I went with --as I enjoy both. But, I switched the venues and we are going to see the movie in 3-D. Anyway...

Keeping this one quick, I am hoping all who are reading my stuff are enjoying it. I am trying desperately not to be antsy about it. But, it's tough. I really love what I write so it is a little like giving your kid to a babysitter, then expecting that sitter to critique your parenting skills in a long drawn out and slightly condescending manner. "I'm sorry--but, Timmy is a God damn drooler. Oh, and he's filthy dirty. You should just buy him a helmet right now and hope too many people don't see him."

Getting Back Up

Recovery in life is important. It doesn't matter exactly what has knocked you on your ass. It really doesn't --whether it's money, or your social life, or your health, or your job, or whatever. The really important thing is that you get back up, shake it off, and go at it twice as hard as before. Some people say that life is all about the 'journey'. I say it's about the fight. That it is a constant battle against forces outside of yourself and with the emotional demons in your mind. That every person you see is a superhero because they do it every single boring day.

So, once again I have resurrected to begin another epic ass kicking. Sick to death of my stupid low level career, disappointed that people don't ever act the way I would like, with never enough money in my pocket, I pick my ass back up and take that fighting stance. Come on, hit me again. I can totally take it.

I applied for about three new jobs today on-line. Good, solid, grammatically correct applications. I re-edited one of my stories and came up with a couple new titles for it (as the current one is kind of a working title). Gathered conceptual ideas for the artist for the book cover. Sent a quick copy to the BF for him to read --now, whether or not he likes it, we shall see. This is the beginning, throwing a few quick punches and hoping they land. Fight just a little harder, sweat just a little more.

I'm gonna fight to get my weekends back and really enjoy them when I do it. I gonna fight to get something really published, the way I want it to be --and if that means I have to pay to get it done myself, then that's what I fucking do. I'm gonna fight to get back into school in the fall and really finish that shit. I'm gonna get that ridiculous BF to open for me, even if I have to use a sardine tin key to do it and I'm not going to abdicate how I feel so he can feel better (this time I will retain myself in a relationship, because we learn from our previous fights.) I'm gonna fight for a chance to go out and see my best friend who needs me around almost as much as I need to be around her. I'm gonna fight to make sure my family succeed in their life endeavors and really be there for them.

It doesn't matter if I feel bruised, broken, weary. I get back up. I fight for what is important to me. I'm doing it right now. Queen Bee is back, Bitches, so let's get this hive buzzing.

Cuz Friday I'm In Love...

Ah, another Friday that means very little to me as I will be working. I woke up early though -like 6 am early, so I went and got myself breakfast. Did you know that some of the hands down best biscuits and gravy available is served at Amigos? Well, it totally is. I used to get for myself some on days when I felt particularly oppressed by my previous employer, but I haven't had it in a very long time. It was superb, just as I remembered. Part of the reason I was also awake was that my allergies started to drive me bonkers. How can one sleep if one has a runny nose? --the answer is, you don't. So, I also went to the grocery store and got some razors, deodorant, and allergy medicine. Then popped into the gas station for cigarettes. As you may have guessed, I received my meager earnings today.

I also gave one of my stories to my Aunt to review, edit, or enjoy. I am alittle nervous about it. She e-mailed back today saying she didn't realize it was so lenghty, which is funny as the one I sent is the shortest thing I have ever written. I am trying to become more open about letting people who are my friends read my stuff. I want feedback, but sometimes it is difficult not to feel judged based on my writings. With that said, I was entertaining the idea of letting the BF maybe read one and see what he thinks. I have quite a few female perspectives, but, to this point, no male perspectives on it. We shall see.

The insoles worked alright. Definitely not as much pain, but there is still some residual pain in the feet. I think I walk too hard on the heels anymore. Speaking of which I have a rather short -but still closing- shift tonight and then a date. I really wish I just had a date instead, but hey, whatever a five hour shift is so short it's not worth calling in on. I wish I could say the next two weeks looks better, but it gets kind of hairy from here on out because in the next two weeks I have exactly two Wednesdays off. That's it. Two Stupid Wednesdays. What the f*ck is there to do on a Wednesday? The BF and I will need to conference and work something out -maybe dinner and a movie or something. Dating was a hellva lot easier when I was unemployed, let me tell ya.

This also means I am working 6/30 to 7/5 -8hr closing shifts every night. So, no fireworks, no fun, no drinking w/friends, no barbeques, nothing but crappy work. I really am so over this job --so I am actively looking for something else to be new at again. Hopefully, before their 'back to school' season --which everyone keeps warning me about is totally terrible and hectic like Black Friday and they are not taking time off requests for, even though it is only the end of June. Really makes you look forward to it, doesn't it? Look forward to a different job maybe.

Da Feet...

My Dad bought me some arch support inserts today, I am ten minutes from going to try them out at work tonight. I hope they do the trick and help with my feet hurting all the time. If not, I'm gonna try the heel cushions, too, as I have not exactly pinpointed what is wrong with my step that is causing me so much pain. But, anyway,  I thought everyone would appreciate knowing that I might not be b*thing about my feet constantly for here on out --hopefully.

I Love You, David Mitchell.

Way to say it, David.  I honestly couldn't agree more and would wail lamentations should we ever lose the black tie.

Doing Something Well

Sometimes I will watch something that really makes me just wish and wish that I did something spectacularly. Like play music, which really is such an admirable talent and yet something entirely out of my realm of skill. Like you know when you're a kid and you look at something on TV about child prodigies and tell you parents rather precociously "I could do something like that." Then your parents smile at you and encourage you to simply do your best when secretly they are praying to God that you do have some kind of talent at something. Or at least, that you will not grow up to be good at mass murder or tax evasion.

There are days, rare moments of clarity, when I realize I am good at certain things --not like, so good they could be a job really sort of things, but you know "Hey, I did the dishes really well tonight." or "Hey, I really helped that person find something that made their day a little easier." sort of things. Nothing fabulous or spectacular, but I did tell that joke rather well or I did communicate very articulately where the restrooms were located. But, honestly, I don't ever really feel like I was/am the very best at something. It seems to me that people who focus too sharply on being the best at something can lose sight of all the other stuff that is worth doing well. Perhaps, I am really great at not being really great at anything in particular. I doubt it is really worth speculating on too long, but every once in a while I am pushed to it.

Plus, there are many things I have never tried to do so perhaps I simply have not done the one I am best at yet. It is worth considering, at least. Perhaps, I am the best underwater salvage expert or the best gaucho or the best penguin communication expert or the best cook of turnips --I mean really the list goes on and on about that one, I suppose. Which turns this into another blog about potential and whether I'm tapping it or not, as much as it is a blog about being good at something right now. So, I suppose tomorrow I will work on being really good at something else. Maybe I am the best at procrastination. Although really then I would just be very good at something bad, which is an entirely different line of thinking. Hmmm, maybe I'm the best at over-thinking. Yep, another bad one. I suppose I will have to settle for being really good at being slightly non-mundane. That one sounds about right, really.

La discussion de compliment à deux journée de la fin

Not sure why this one is 'the story of a predatory female', but much like her I did finally get what I wanted --which was a little stroke on the ego from the BF. It was not a straight out apology, but perhaps...just perhaps, I might have overreacted. Not hugely, as all females and 75% of the males were indeed in my corner about the whole deal, but having gotten the whole thing resolved in one sentence in an e-mail made me consider that I was looking for something fairly specific. Anyway, over, finished. It takes far too much energy for me to be upset for more than 24hrs anyway. The ridiculousness did solidify one thing --If we, as in the royal we, are in deep enough to really get upset over his seeming lack of interest, that means he's important to me. Maybe a little more important than I  like to admit comfortably.

With that said, I had a really good day full of family activities. Lunch with Dad and sister A, swimming at 4 with everybody. Hanging out, spinach pies from a street vendor that were amazing, niece streaking the hotel hallway (she's two so silly pictures were taken for later embarrassment), then over to my Grandma J's house. And guess what? She gave me that wicker basket I have had in my backseat for six months, so now it's in my bedroom looking fabulous. She was also getting rid of a silver over copper coffee pot and two silver serving trays. I am well on my way to having a respectable coffee and tea service. Moreover, it was actually a pleasant visit, which is somewhat rare. And K went, she hasn't seen Grandma J for two years after they had kind of a falling out, so that was really refreshing. I think everyone had a nice time.  I certainly did.

Then, as I was trying to stay off the computer,  I sat downstairs and watched the first TV I have watch in nearly six months, which was a recorded Masterpiece Mystery. It was a Poirot I had not seen called 'Murder in Three Acts'. And really was excellent. I love Poirot, he is totally better than Miss Marple, even though I do like a good Marple, as well. All the costumes and scenery is Deco, too, which makes me love it even more. Considering I had not watched TV in so long it was really pretty nice and I could see how easy it would be to simply sit in front of it and watch nonsense to escape everything, however the show ended and I ended up back on-line again. However, it is worthy of note, that should one ever fall in love at a dinner party at which there is a murder --you have most certainly fallen in love with the murder. You may as well slap the cuffs on whomever it is right then. Tragic really.

Mad Cow

After talking to my friend I decided that it would be a good and honest thing to simply tell the BF he had hurt my feelings. Because open and honest communication is the secret to a happy healthy relationship. Really, all he had to say was 'Hey, sorry, I think you're wonderful and pretty.' and the whole thing would have been over --however, I live nowhere near that town called 'Perfect' that Walgreen's corporately runs so what I got was, 'Hey, let's discuss on Friday.' Which literally made me cry. Really, I was even surprised by it myself, I haven't let a boy make me cry in five years.

Then it made me think, and think, and think. It made me mad all over again, then it made me insecure, then it made me mad. Not that great boiling rage, but that twice as terrible inwardly directed self-loathing kind of rage that knots up your stomach for two days and makes you eat copious amounts of cheese and chocolate. It also gave me a brief remembrance of why I was so very happy when I was totally unattached, because 50% of my self-image was not dependent upon what some boy had to say about it. It is ridiculous. I have no idea if he thinks he's giving me some sort of 'cool off' period or if it is that 'I just don't have time to deal with you being a problem in my life right now'. Either way, by Friday I doubt we will have much to talk about. Especially, if he is fine letting me feel alone, unattractive, and hurt for three days. So, as much as I preach 'open & honest communication', it failed miserably--so we maintain radio silence.

My sister advised that I should stop blogging about it, in case he reads it, as she said it was his responsibility to figure out what to do and fix it himself.  --My answer was that he couldn't possibly read it or he would have just said what needed to be said and this has totally not happened (in fact, if it were possible to make it worse, he did, which is not only statistically typical with guys but stupid and the BF is generally not stupid). And if the BF is secretly reading this to gain insight and not telling me, stop it, you're not allowed to read this as I am not speaking to you right now. Your secret blog reading privileges have been revoked.

--On a lighter note. The family is in town for the second portion of my mother's teaching conference, so we are going swimming tonight. I am totally going to make sure I have pictures in my bathing suit this time. Had lunch at Brewsky's with Dad and sister A, it was nice. There is swimming at 4pm,  then at 7-ish we are going to see my Grandma Joyce, give her back her basket and get that painting, etc. I won't say it is going to be a fabulous time, but it should alright. We walked Dad over to see Aunt M at the Arts Council. She asked to read some of my writing as she has friends in publishing and seemed genuinely interested. So, I'm going to send her one and see what she thinks. I am slightly nervous about it --but I want people to read what I've written and maybe she will have some good constructive criticisms for the books that I can work on in July. I am also trying to figure a way to go see my bestie in KY sometime in August.

So, thus begins the three day stewing of the mad cow.

Quick to Temper

Good day, Blogaphiles. Today I'm pissed off. So, I have this really nice, sweet BF. He's nerdy, shy, and at times somewhat awkward --but, I like him anyway. Yesterday, while I was at work he sent me something a buddy of his had sent him in an e-mail. And don't get me wrong I have a great sense of humor about this kind of thing and would never want to change a thing about him --it was some costumed demon temptress 17 yr old posing and it had a cute little de-motivator saying on it. I did laugh a little.

So, I sent him back an e-mail with kind of wink that had pics of me in various costumes. I used to be theatre chick so I have about a million pictures in costumes. I also teased that I didn't know he really liked dark haired ladies. So, I got one back today which said that he was indeed partial to raven haired beauties. Really? You're going to be dim enough to send that to your redheaded girlfriend, who you certainly don't compliment enough for her to feel like she is in a stable place with you and who has certain issues because her last BF was constantly looking for better? Oh, and hey, how about you not even make one comment about the pictures of me. Don't say one fucking thing, that is just the way to really make me like you, ignore me. I'm about to cry foul. I'm so God damn mad at him right now. Stupid, stupid boy. You like her so very much, fine, you enjoy your picture and I'll start seeing about someone who wants to see my picture, Ass.

As I informed him, that is like telling the bowl of ice cream in front of you that you wish it were a different flavor. I'm really quite proud of being strawberry ice cream and if you don't like it, please push the bowl forward and step away from the table --there are boys lined up who love strawberry. Chocolate is rather common, actually. I'm not. I have always thought my hair color was something that made me special, unique --it's an important keystone of my self esteem and personal beauty self-image.

Boy, oh, boy, it pissed me off. I really like and need sweet things said about me-- I'm a woman and moreover, he needs to start saying things about what he likes about me, not other hoes. Fuck. Patience limit has just been reached. There are many little oddities I am willing to accept with/from a guy. Honestly, as compared to many people I know, I am very accepting of quirks, social slips, and sometimes even downright insults, however this one was a bit of a puncture to the old balloon of my self confidence. So, I put the question forth. Is it really fair that I have to listen to him say other girls are pretty, when he won't tell me that I am?  --I suppose that one is fucking rhetorical as I am about as angry with him as I have ever been.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that my BF hurt me in the feelers and probably has no idea that he did it because his communications are sometimes really....unthoughtful. It is really no more than typical guy bullshit, which I should be bright enough to expect and disregard but it still hurt. And now I feel not that pretty at all. Stupid boy.

Daddy Gets the Big Piece of Chicken

Happy Father's Day --to all of them. To my Dad, who I called Daddy until I was in college and someone told me it was a little childish to do so.

A stubborn quiet man who taught me many things, like how to whistle and make a cheesey smile. Who puts the fartsy in 'artsy fartsy'. Who gave me his nose and an understanding of the importance of good manners. Who simply stated that if it was important to me, all I ever had to do was say and he would be there. Who has some great stories and better punchlines. Who let me know that my family did not have to like who I was with, I did. Who taught me what family was about and that it was something you chose to be a part of. Who said it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you believe in something. Whose good advice made a lot more sense after I had really f-ed something up. Who let me know that I was worth more than a Shelby Cobra and three corvettes. Who I have worked for years and years to make proud -even though I knew he was proud of me all the time, that's why he carries my picture in his wallet.

Really, this day is another one of those holidays we should be celebrating every single day, just like Mother's Day and my birthday. But, thank you to all the spectacular dads and all the work they do to turn out good people. To the single dads struggling (K), the step dads who step in effortlessly (J), the adoption dads who go through the whole process (B), the guys who want desperately to be dads (T), the dads who just can't keep it in their pants and pay child support for like six kids (J), to the father figures who teach and work with kids just because they like it (J), to the guy trying to convince the world's most cynical girl to make babies with him and not doing too bad a job (K), and finally to my patriarch, for everything (C). Happy Father's Day, Guys!

Late Date Hijinks

So, let me just say, I busted some major a$$ to get out of work at 11:30pm last night so I could run to my car, wait for everyone to leave the parking lot, then change while in the driver's seat of my car for my date. It was not easy and required more acrobatics than I have ever preformed. I swear if Cirque De Soleil had driven through the parking lot they would have simply offered me a job right there. And I did it while smoking a cigarette. Talk about Tah-Dah...

And I was positive. The trying did roll out into a very happy attitude indeed. We had pie at Perkins then adjourned back to the BF's lovely house. I love that he always puts the air-conditioning on for me. It may seem like a small thing, but I f-ing hate being overly warm, so to me is seems like an oh-so-considerate and gracious gesture. And we had fun. Well, I had fun. For some reason the poor BF seemed more tired than I was.

One of the really funny things he showed me was the clip in today's blog --one of my all time favorite movies is Jurassic Park and this made me laugh so hard I nearly wet my pants. I know I snorted like a tickled little piggy at least twice (I blame my allergies and asthma for that one, but it happens sometimes when things really are funny). For my Twi-heart bestie, there is also a hilarious one for Twilight @ http://youtu.be/m2T6oMfI9Ro , which I recommend for a laugh.

I really had a great time. No walk of shame as I didn't really do anything shameful, per say, but the Honda could really use some new brakes as they seem to only squeal like a dying ostrich when I have to back out of his driveway at strange times in the morning --alerting every single neighbor, I'm sure. Which is, of course, embarrassing.

So, once again with the lame ending of -getting in tub as I have to clean myself up for work. Night number two of another four night closing weekend. Woohoo. I would love to say I am excited about it, but my mood has moved squarely into being determined about it. I am going to change my availability when I can, so after my 90 trial period, if still there, I can get at least Friday's off. --Really on my schedule today equates to a Tuesday, and I really hate Tuesdays.

99 Problems...

Good Morning, Peeps! -So, the museum was really fun. I haven't been back to Morrill Hall in a very, very long time and the planetarium show was good. We kind of wandered around for about an hour, looked at stuff, talked about our previous weeks activities. I really must have been out of my tree setting up a date at that place though as the only place I could have scheduled it with more roaming, yelling kiddies would have been Chuck E. Cheese's. I told the BF that and he laughed saying he had no idea Chuck E. Cheese's was an option. Sometimes he really is very sweet and funny and says just the right thing. (Not that this goes outside this anonymous blog, but he really is pretty perfect 'dad' type material -may just convince me to take that huge leap into parenting, if things continue well.)

The planetarium show was neat. We were like the last people to eck in, so we got seats on the edge of the 'full-dome'. Even with the craning of the neck, it was a great show and the dome is really awesome. I went to a laser Floyd show there about ten years back, but I guess I had forgotten how really cool it is. I bet the space ones are super cool. Gives you that big 3-D immersion, without the glasses, kind of. Came out a little dizzy, but satisfied. Then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner, as we were both starving and had a really nice dinner. I got to watch him try to eat a burger that was way too big so it was amusing at the same time as just generally delicious.

I want to say the kids movies went over really well, but he was not that excited about them. I also got him some Mad Libs, which he had no idea what they were and went over as a little too childish to be a good gift. I love them --great drunken party game or just fun in the car on long trips, but not everyone has my taste in entertainment. Then I gave him a little kiss and sent him home, as today was a work day for him. Actually, it's a work day for me too, but my shift is 3:30pm to Midnight, so I do have today to hang.

He was nice enough to say that we could meet up after my shift tonight -but honestly, I am doubting how much energy I am going to have to do anything. I am trying to conserve, however I only last a couple of hours after a shift and I have another one to look forward to on Saturday, so I don't know. I, myself, can't imagine why anyone would want to see me right after work -as most nights I reek of sweaty manual labor type suffering, my outlook is generally surly, and my feet hurt like I walked on broken glass for three hours. But, I'm going to try to be really positive -like really, really try. I'll probably just suggest we go back to his house, take a shower there and fall asleep. I've decide to throw an 'over night' bag in my trunk, just in case -this is a great tactical item for any single girl to have, as it's not technically a walk-of-shame if you can brush your teeth and not be wearing last night's clothes when you leave. Much more ladylike.

Time to get my 'museum' on...

Ah, the wine drinker's party hat, so much classier then normal party wear. Date night is totally on tonight. We are going to Morrill Hall and the planetarium tonight. I am rather excited about it. They have a new planetarium show which is "Sea Monster: A Prehistoric Adventure" and we will be seeing that. It looks pretty awesome from the stills on the website. Something huge is eating a shark. Rrrr-orroew!

I am wearing that Le Mystere 'Tish' bra I bought a while back on-line at the urging of Oprah. It certainly keeps things up and in place, but feels slightly like a torture device. With the relations progressing with the BF I am thinking of buying some lingerie. Don't laugh too hard, but right before  I started dating on-line, so March-ish, I threw all of my old teddies, bustiers, and sexy slips angrily into the trash figuring I would never have anyone who wanted to see that shit anyway. Had I known this was the final element in the ritual spell to attract a boy -I suppose I should have done it sooner. And now I want them all back, of course. Bloody hell.

Oh, and yet another thing that totally pissed me off. There is a particular song by Neon Trees called 'Animal', it is one of my all time favorite songs --pretty much single handedly inspired me to start writing the novels I am so fond of --and I saw a commercial that it has been raped by Kidz Bop. I literally got up and stormed out of the room. Then youtubed it and the version is terrible, awful. I feel an inordinate amount of anger and hatred toward the 12 year olds singing it. It's just wrong, so wrong. Some little kid even posted a homemade video where she/he is playing with Littlest Pet Shoppe animals to the song. I grabbed my laptop and shouted furiously, "It's about SEX, Kid! Wanton, wild animal sex! Stop making those kitties, puppies, and ponies have a tea party to it! Stop, you're ruining it for me! No-o-o-o-o-o!"  So, because I love to share my pain --here it is. http://youtu.be/Ja7LcJCWf90 If your eyes start bleeding, and I know mine did, stop watching and consult your physician.

So, on my pseudo-Sunday/ real Thursday, sister K is at a CT appointment for her kidneys. K has always had some issues with the kidneys, not huge ones, but she doesn't drink enough water or whatever, so I hope the appointment turns out okay. I was also supposed to get my sheep in the mail today and he has not come, which is disappointing. Other then that stuff, I slept late and am finally feeling prepared, like I might be able to go back to work on Friday night and be positive for the next four nights when I have to close again. So, I had better really enjoy these moments of quiet blogatude. :)

Last One of the Evening

Alright, Swingers and Singers, last one of the evening. I love the Vegas dirty vibe on this one and the Portishead sample, but it has it's own neat flavor to it. Hope the daily jukebox wasn't too very annoying --I had a super fun time doing it.

Watched a couple hours of Portlandia tonight and loaded up the back and forth passing flash drive with some movies for the BF, as the roommates have not yet (after two months) re-installed Nero so I can actually burn him a movie. I put on a bunch of sweet, funny kids movies as it came to light that he has not even seen Kung Fu Panda because --well, I guess it is harder for guys to watch kids movies, makes them look severely less macho without a kid or, I suppose, it is hard not to look like a pedophile in a theatre packed with kids if you are a single guy. Luckily, I am a lady so I can get away with that pretty easily. I put on some really good ones on there like -Up!, WALL*E, Kung Fu Panda, etc. And then some more adult movies -not like that kind of adult movie -but more grown-up, less animated films that I like.

Other than that, just messing about on the internet is the agenda for the rest of the night, then falling asleep half dressed on the big fluffy mess that is my bed. So, hooray for pseudo-Saturday-hybrid-Wednesday! Woohoo!

Getting the Night Movin'

Title of old Roger Corman movie + one dead movie star + Oakenfold = really great song. There are even some of those french kids extreme walking/ body throwing during the video which is pretty cool. I think it's called parkour, but don't quote me, as my walking is only extreme enough to hurt my feet -and nothing else really. Mostly this song is just good for movin' and groovin' and shakin' a f-ing tail feather to, mostly. (Aliens reference there for all you cinephiles.)

The movie was just as good the second time around and roommates enjoyed it immensely, which is always nice. It didn't mean that they got me any food when they went out to get dinner, or really even asked if I wanted anything to eat, but hey, can't ask too darn much of them I suppose. Doesn't matter, not going to let it ruin my really excellent day. And it has been a very, very good one really. Not huge amount of happenings, but sometimes it is just really nice to get things all cleaned up and back where they belong while dancing around wishing my bedroom were a huge club.

Anyway, all for now, still waxing sentimental, longing for the BF to magically have tomorrow off so we could spend it together doing fun stuff, while knowing this will not happen. Or that for some strange reason my bestie had to come back to the state and calls out of the blue because she is in the haymarket and needs a drink, which has about the same probability of happening. Some days it feels like I am simply waiting for things -on-call for life, as it were. Well, back to dancin'.

Life in plastic, it's fantastic...

Yes, that's right, I have been a Barbie girl for a very long time so I like this song. If you know me, which some of you may, it is also kind of funny if you know my BF's name, which yes, I have already caught some crap about from my sweet blonde sisters.

So, here is a totally cute blast from the past. And yes, I totally sing and dance to this alone in my bedroom while I try on outfits and hats and shoes and accessories --because I'm cool like that and because a perfect outfit can only come together when all conditions are right, like rigorous scientific experimentation. Admit it, you're smiling right now. This little bubble gum pop anthem has been around for a while, not because it's a terribly good song, but because it is inspiring and fun and stupid. Just like Katy Perry.

So, with that, I am off to re-watch a movie this evening. It was a good movie so I don't mind and as usual I have a coupon. More fun stuff later this evening to come, on H's musical weekend blog. Really, if you knew how much fun I was having doing this, you would probably enjoy it more yourself, I think. :)

Cleaning Dance Party

Huh, so called the Gram to see if she can meet up today, twice and no answer. I hope she is doing alright and will probably call again. With that said plans changed from going to see her, to cleaning the old room. Today roommate T is babysitting his nephew, whose babysitter is on vacation this week. So, there is much 10 yr old pouncing around and playing of Wii in the living room --a perfect environment for me to close the door turn up the ole laptop and clean.

--Oh, and also because I was full I laid down and took a really satisfying nap. Hooray for me! Now on to more dancing and cleaning. In fact, here is some summer dance music and a fun video about four wheeling and girls shakin' their coconuts on some random music video island. Fun.

Switch-up!

In true H.E. fashion, yesterday I was all pissed off about getting up for work at 10 am, and this morning I awakened at 5:30 am on my day off, bright and shiny like a newly minted penny, being totally okay with that. Because it's MY time today. I need this time to do things that I want to do so being up early is good. Like today for instance, I got myself McDonald's breakfast. It is a small thing, but I haven't really gotten to eat just what I wanted in awhile.

I have also decided to make it a musical weekend, so if you like what I like, enjoy the videos, if not -hey, something new never hurt anyone too badly. Music is a thread I use to connect things, it is the ambiance for the action. And this 'weekend' is gonna be full of action in need of backing up, so expect smaller blogs for today and tomorrow, with music and brief action to go with them. So, this one is to get us rolling this morning...later we'll see.

Mayhem

Trying to relax is pissing me off. I am feeling extremely restless tonight. Another crazy pre-full moon hormone attack. I thought perhaps the exhausting work load would smother some of the inclinations I have for vices, but the freedom of days off makes tonight my Friday night and I want it. Damn it, I want it terribly.

Thinking some very naughty thoughts tonight. Keep me wanting long enough and I'll break. Explode figuratively and blow the world's mind with tickling, arch-welding sparks. My skin itches and sizzles with that full on creeping sensation of anticipation licking up my spine. The mind outstretching my small body, peering for greener pastures of nephilic intellect and naked cabana boys. I'm begging for the addictive endorphins of an over the top shopping spree or the rapturous comfort of a squirt or two of Oxycontin, and having to settle for the familiar cortex-tural stroke of the '-ines' of caffeine and nicotine. But, it stares me in the face...more, more, more.  I want more, more, more. It's so much easier to laugh with it than to fight against it. It is the nature of it, to have so much wild free fire that it implodes inward, consumes itself with the desire to be placed inside where it can do the most damage.

It seems my stream of consciousness is more of a spray of...we'll say, champagne, however it is more or less simply a desire to have my cork popped, if you know what I'm saying.

It's time to get up, it's time to get up...

At some point, I was good at this...I loved waking up at 4:30 am every single day to go to work. Loved it. The five o'clock in the morning world was mine because no one else in the world wanted it. Traffic was easy, people were all in bed, no lines if I had to stop places, it really was blissful.

But this morning the 8 o'clock world sucks --my feet still hurt, my back aches now, and really all I need is one solid excuse to call in to work and I will take it like a fat girl steals twinkies. I am volleying back and forth from extreme will to get up and make coffee to the extreme lethargy to crawl back into my very comfortable bed. I'm not even sure that writing this blog is keeping me awake right now so if this is all senseless ramblings, someone please call me and put your vote in to side with the 'go back to bed' devil on my left shoulder so a decision can be made and I can get to doing what I need to be doing.

Still I guess I will only have to work until 6:30 pm so --wait, that is like all damn day?! Sigh, it seemed so much shorter when I was not looking it in the face. I think I might have strained my shoulder last night as this morning it is not just my lower back that seems to be protesting all movement. The nighttime's fitful tossings did not suffice in recovery of any sort, plus by the end of the shift I was beginning to lose my voice if you can believe that. So, priority #1 is going to be the job hunting tomorrow -even with all the other things I have to accomplish on my meger days off. But, enough of the ebbing and flowing of bitchery this morning. I gotta get into the tub and see if I can get my muscles loosened up for the last round today. So, just pretend that little happy anime animal in the picture is me and have a nice day yourselves. :)

Growing Flock

Yeah, okay, so recently my sister K got me a Serta Sheep plushie from the neighborhood garage sales this weekend in Woods Park, which sadly I was not able to attend any of because I had to work. She got me #44 and he has a cute little tag that says "Out of Work, Thanks to Serta". I just love him -think he is darn adorable.

So, I decide it would be a fun thing to collect. They are just a little hard to come by as you had to buy a Serta mattress to get them, but they seem to be plentiful on the internet. This little guy in the picture is my newest member of my counting sheep flock. He is in the mail already and I got him on ebay for very reasonable. I honestly haven't bought anything frivolous that I didn't absolutely, desperately need in a very, very long time so it felt great really.

I used to collect Mr. Potatoheads that were movie themed --I have the Star Wars-themed "Darth Tater", "Spud Trooper" and "R2-POTATOO", the Transformers film-themed "Optimash Prime",  Spider-Man (red suit)-themed "Spider-Spud/Peter Tater",  and an Indiana Jones-themed "Taters of the Lost Ark". I missed out on collecting the Iron Man themed "Tony Starch" and the later Transformers themed "Bumble Spud". Plus, all the ones that were released specifically from Disney resorts that you had to be there to collect. It was still a pretty sizable collection, I had them all out and displayed for a very long time --then, about two months ago after contemplating that a real live boy might come anywhere near my bedroom I put them all in a box and sent them to the basement --all of them in pristine condition, never out of the boxes. I didn't want to be totally exposed as a huge Cinephile with fangirl tendencies right away when my tattoo does that pretty well later on. They are simply well preserved jokes in their see-through containers for me to enjoy at a later date. "You play with dolls?" "Uh, no --they're action figures!"

So, I figure a little flock of counting sheep on the bed is a little more adult. Also, slightly afraid the dog will go secret them away for his humping pleasure. For some reason he is very attracted to them, has already attempted to carry Mr. 44 away for a little romp...luckily I was there to save him. "No, no, Pootie-poo, you are not Scottish and that is not your sheep. Bad doggie."

Round Two

I am holding off bathing as long as possible today to protest the fact that I have to go back to work again at 4pm. I know it's lame and I know it does absolutely no good at all, but I'm doing it anyway because it makes me feel in-control.

So, when you're a kid and your folks tell you that you should get a job that you love so it never really feels like work --are they really taking into consideration that perhaps you might not be 'good' at what you love to do? I mean, what if you want to be an artist and you are a shitty, shitty artist? Reasonably, there would be no money in that, at all, if you were very bad at it. And the flipside of that coin is almost worse. What if you are really good at something you hate doing? Crips. So, there's some food for thought, I suppose.

Got home last night and sent the BF a quick little e-mail to say I was thinking about him after a grueling shift under the bullseye sun. And do you know what? I got up this morning and he got called into his work to do things and was up even later than me. Which made me feel like a royal turd for complaining at all. Plus, although my job right now is akin to manual slavery in a hideous uniform, his is much more brain-involved than mine so I did feel rather guilty. Poor, poor BF. It was slightly comforting to contemplate however, that he was probably getting paid at least double to triple what I make an hour. I really gotta get that stupid degree completed so I can get another smart desk job soon. I don't really think I am built for long term physical work and I feel like it is simply killing me. Plus, it's making my blogs really boring.

My sister says the State's fiscal year doesn't start until after July, so perhaps they will be hiring soon. For while it is nice to have a job currently, honestly, I would love to be doing something else. Also slightly inspired by the BF and a couple of articles on the internet, I think I will be reading a couple more books on the workings of computers and such, that seems to be where the money is and I really know only about enough to fill a thimble, on the subject. I'm hoping maybe the ole BF might go Quid Pro Quo with me on the matter -I'm sure there are a few things I know about girlie stuff I could trade him for more practical insights. I am just slightly tired of being a 'filler person', if you get the reference.

Anyway, I have put it off long enough and need to go clean up. I have round two of the epic battle with the red shirts this evening. Wow, I just got that my uniform is that of an expendable crew member were that store a space ship. Disheartening. "No, I don't want to join the captain, the science officer, and the doctor down on the creepy new planet. Are you crazy? I wear a red shirt! A red shirt, I tell you!"

Battling Can Be Exhausting...

So, this girl in the picture, I'm feeling a lot like her this morning. I secured a victory over some of the forces of shyness last night and am feeling powerful and battle weary. And, as with most comic book victory's, this is just the beginning, of course.

With this said, I take my aching knees and back and sprint to my next battle with a severely long work period of Sat-Sun-Mon-Tues closing shifts. I know I can triumph over the dark forces of customer service as they stab at my feet and pummel my back, but I will not lie, the prospect is a little daunting right now. Gotta outlast it, sleep when I'm dead, fight until the end!

Where is Batman with that back and foot rub he owes me?

Observance of Creatures Wild and Woolie

Happy Friday, Punks and Skunks! And it should be a good one, not to mention I have it off from work and will not have another free Friday for two weeks after this. So, I plan to enjoy it. It is also my first paycheck from work. And if the amount is any indicator --I will need to keep my mouth shut about the hurt feet and just work as many hours as possible and I might, MIGHT, be able to pay my bills. Maybe, which is less than comforting and has resurrected my job hunting once more. Still, I did make some money so that is positive and will be able to pay rent.

So, I stumbled, while at work, onto a rather silly creature --it is the 21 yr old male. Wow, it was like watching someone do a bad 'Joey' impression from Friends, mixed with a re-run of America's Funniest Home videos, and a tap-tap of Jersey Shore. This particular animal is nice enough to me, as I am a little older than what he is trolling for, so I get to step back and watch his technique as he chases absolutely every pretty, or kind of pretty, girl at work, which to me is hilarious. He is all bluster about drinking, which he does a lot and talks about even more, he puffs out his chest and tries to enamour the ladies with his owning of no less than three vehicles and his mastery of 'stocks' which his parents gave him making him financially set. He further postures manly by explaining how he owns his own house with a hot tub and is, on the side, a fire fighter. As I have an exacting limit on how much head nodding and 'Oh, that's very nice' I can put out, I tended to just walk away when he would begin ranting. However, there are a couple of chicks he will literally run across the whole store to seemingly nonchalantly invite to drinking or simply verbally attempt to persuade into his coolness fold of lambies.

I shake my head and smile remembering how silly they all seem to be sometimes. "Boys!?" I sigh, with my quintessential eye roll. It is still somewhat remarkable how this stumbling clown can still make me smile with a bit of his straight-out-of-the-package, unpracticed flattery which is abundant enough for me to know I am never the only one getting it. I even speculate that some of the little girlies probably fall for it occasionally, which makes me laugh. As kind of an alpha female, it is sweet to see the little wolf cubs play together and really get down those hunting techniques. It takes time to learning that there is practiced art behind flattery and flirting when done properly, not bluntly tossing your economical numbers at one another and simply unzipping your trousers. Still, it is amazing to observe and does gives work a bit of fun, which I so desperately need sometimes.

With that said, tonight is date night. We are going out to dinner at Toast, a restaurant I love for the massive amount of pop they give you. It should be nice and I have been looking forward to it all week nearly as much as my bloody paycheck. And I am looking forward to seeing the BF, in all his shining nerd armour, push and poke on my dragon scales searching for chinks to insert knives, saying, "Come hither, but not too hither, you'll burn me up, ya know?" As I sigh wistfully and roll my slitted eyes at him, hissing, "Boys?!"

Song for the Bestie...

Just for the Bestie today --new Coldplay. I know you've probably heard it, but just in case you haven't...I know you love the Coldplay.

On Stranger movies...

I really love these coupons from Marcus theater. Honestly, they have gotten back into the theaters to see movies I would normally skip or wait for on dvd...or wait even longer for on Netflix. And my BF is just about the cutest thing this side of a Strawberry Shortcake doll dipped in Butterscotch lickin' on a lollipop. We had seen the same yahoo news article about the texter at the Alamo Drafthouse, who called and left a bitchy message and became kind of a PSA for them, which was hilarious, and tried to tell each other about it at the same time.

The movie was pretty good. It might even have been full price good. I can't imagine that 3D made it a whole lot better, it was fine in 2D. It had a nice solid plot, with a lot of converging story points. The end was somewhat predictable, but not entirely so. I will say that much like all Disney movies, they did try and wrap up nearly every storyline with its own episodic type finish. However, on the whole, I felt like it moved faster that all of the other three. Yeah, the sparrow character was/is kind of played out. But, Geoffrey Rush was amazing in this one and Ian McShane was good, as well. And for some odd reason even Penelope Cruz seemed to have some depth, which was both refreshing and super surprising at once.

So, go see it, it was entertaining, fun, and really delivered on what it offered --which was a solid pirate action movie. I do wish they had not used so-o-o-o many of the good jokes in the previews, but there were still some in there which was nice. I would like to thank the BF for a nice time, which I kind of needed to pull me out of not only the previous blahs, but the fam crazy that erupted after the blog, but prior to the movie. It's like being able to escape someplace clean, let the mind set on autopilot for a while, and just relax. I love the movies.

Case of the blahs...

Yeah, okay, so I got a case of the blahs. It's nothing serious. Honestly things in general have been oka-a-a-ay, I guess. Even kind of good. but, my attitude today is 'meh'. Like I'm bored and restless and not very positive. I cannot for the life of me seem to figure out why exactly.

I even have some nice plans -the BF and I are going to see that new Pirates movie. Which will probably be somewhat entertaining, not great, but well worth the $5 admission probably, even in 2D. And the fam is stopping by on the way out of town so I get to say goodbye to them and have really had a lovely time seeing everyone, really. Sister D is coming over to do laundry, maybe. My day off was excellent. So why am I so unsatisfied?

I don't even have anything to say really. I want to have things to say, but everything seems so boring. Well, I have been staring at this for ten minutes with nothing better to say, so I suppose I just post it and let the winds decide how things should blow today. I'm sure I will have something to say about the movie after I watch it so at least there is that to look forward to. Or just more blah, I guess.

Monday, monday...

I was reminded tonight that I -even though I love music -do not attend a lot of live music shows. The last one I went to was the 1997 Lilith Fair. Yep, been a while. As I was thinking about it -and it was a hellva show by the way, I discovered I liked Fiona Apple. I went because I love Sarah MacLachlan, but Apple put on a great show, her piano work was amazing, angry, vibrant. So, I am putting up a video to remind people she is not just some crazy save-the-turkeys chick, she was acutally a great musician. I really like 'Sleep to Dream' or 'Shadowboxer' better than the 'Criminal' video, but I love the naughty, dirty, underage Calvin Klein porno movie set feel of this video and the lyrics are so good.

I decided that there was no point to being angry with the waffle --so I smothered it in syrup and ate it, like usual. Pretty normal.

I had a really nice day off. Slept in, got a great e-mail from my bestie that really set me straight on a few things (she is so damn smart, it's just shameful sometimes), got a cute joke from the BF and tentative agenda for Friday date, got some alone time to myself, chatted with sister A on-line, ran some errands with the air on in my car singing to the radio, had a marvelous dinner with my mom and sister D, then a nice alone drink with my mom. Tried out my new sunscreen --no sunburn, but yeah, non-greasy -whatever.

I was feeling super thin so I strutted into the mall today, as well. Wow, nothing quite like a reality check with the anorexic walking sticks disguised as 15 year old girls trolling the mall to make ya feel like a waddling narwhal, so I got a hair cut. The Fro needed it badly and it meant I didn't have to browse clothing racks too near any prancing skeletons. It looks really cute --I got compliments from everybody that saw me so either the previous hair was out-of-control bad or it really does look very cute. I hope it is the latter, of course.

I did get a new swimsuit, but it is one of sister K's old ones. Which is pretty cool. I think it totally looked better on her than it does on me, but she has a longer torso than I have too. Still it did look pretty damn good. Now I just need a place to wear it -preferable in doors. Hmmm. Will have to think on that one.

Waffling

Yeah, it's a huge picture of a waffle and yeah, it's symbolic. I'm a fairly decisive person. It's not hard. You think about things, then act based upon those careful thoughts, then you live with the consequences. The only time I ever appear indecisive is if I think that the other person asking me already knows what they want (and I am severely empathetic, I know most of the time).

What I do not, in any respect, understand is when you give someone something they really seem to want --then suddenly they don't want it. Really, I was positive you wanted this? You're sure? You totally don't want it now? Are you yanking my chain? Huh, oka-a-a-ay, well I guess it will be right there if you decide you want it. I'll just walk way for a bit....Honestly, I do have other things to do than keep offering you everything you want so you can say you don't want it. And I ask for what I need, which is how I get what I want. Stupid Waffle. GGGggrrrr.

Not the most positive blog, but I'm feeling rather pimp-slapped by work. Some nights everything is frustrating, even the things you thought you did right seem to turn out wrong. Certainly nothing to dwell upon or worry about, we are what we are, but the picture up there is not me and never shall be. So, if you want waffles look elsewhere. However, I am also delicious smothered in syrup.

Dealing With Feelings...

Okay, so, as promised, here are pics of the collages I made for the BF on Wednesday. Like I said previously, they are Portlandia inspired so just so everyone gets the joke, the sketches that inspired them can be found on:

http://youtu.be/0XM3vWJmpfo

http://youtu.be/P7VgNQbZdaw

 

 

And they are both super funny. So, blog readers --let me know what you think. I would love to know. I think the 'Put A Bird on It" one is the best, but I really like them both. And the BF seems very impressed that I made him something.

 

 

So, the date. We started at the Sheldon which thankfully was air conditioned. It was fun. I liked one of the big graphite pictures called 'Last Man on Earth' and the BF found that he really enjoyed this rather large picture of an eye looking into a window, which was kind of had a frame that did look like a big rustic window. It was lovely. Then we walked down to the Hayden in the Haymarket, there were cartoonist, but the gallery was totally crowded. On the plus side it did have a hell good string quartet out front playing live music. And the City Cafe had a trumpet player and pianist also doing live music so it was very cool. From there we went to the Indigo Book Store, which is very cool. My favorite art of the night was there they were pictures by Meghan Stratman --in particular I loved this one picture of a redheaded girl holding up a key. I went to her website which is www.bunnypirates.com but I could not find the picture anywhere. I saw all the other ones, but, of course not the one I loved. Then we traipsed on to a few more galleries. There was some very cool stuff and a lot of photography -for me photo art is hard to appreciate like the subject means more than the picture I guess so mostly it was --that's a rock, that's a bobcat, that's a buffalo. Yawn.

 

 

So, we went to Buzzard Billy's and the BF bought me dinner, which was a lovely cheesesteak sandwich. It was pretty fabulous, but it was more fun to just sit and talk. Then I got a second invitation back to his house. Which, of course, I cannot post anything about as I have a strict non-disclosure clause in my girlfriend contract not to do that.

 

 

With that said, I have been entertaining some feelings today. I always thought that when I made a decision to fall in love again, it would be a great thing. That I would be happy about it and excited. And I did. I decided to tell him last night. I felt it. I knew. He should know too. It seemed like a very easy decision to make. So, I told him. I didn't really expect him to reciprocate -boys are notoriously slow about that sort of thing. People say (on the internet) that it cheapens it to tell people you love them too much or too often. I think that is bullshit. I have always been confident enough to know that you should tell people whenever you feel like telling them. People I love know it, because I tell them, because I show them every chance I get, that it's true.

 

 

Sometimes that love is so big and overwhelming that it chokes you by the throat until you either say it or swallow it. And if you swallow it, it cheapens you inch by inch rather than unleashing the good feelings and big meaning that it should be showering over that other person. It seems like simple common sense to me, but I suppose we have become such complicated creatures that common sense is not that common and simplicity has become somewhat passe. So, with all of this said, now I deal with the one-sided-ness of such a confession, the utter vulnerability of having thrown a door wide and the despair of waiting to see if someone will walk through or close it behind you. 

Quick Friday Cliff Notes

Good lord, it feels like work crushed my spine and beat my feet with a hammer. Today's little pic is a dash of one of my favorites --art nouveau, a wonderful marriage of organic curves and feminine. Really a beautiful style. I also love the geometry of art deco in decorating styles. However, I am also slightly drawn to the a shabby chic vibe on some things or every once in a while a beachy cape cod style (particularly with furniture) which can be odd.

I'm trying to get in the mood for the art walk this evening, if you can't tell. I am super psyched. Now, I just have to get the old body to follow suit as it would like nothing more than a bit of a rest from intense physical activities. So, I'm kind of achy and cranky too. Plus, I am having a hellva time picking something to wear for some reason. And, you will love this, if I don't schedule a date when it's heinously raining --then it's ungodly hot, like tonight it is going to be nearly 90 degrees at 6pm. Really, one way or the other nature is positive that I look best either soaked with rain or soaked with sweat. Either way, I end up all wet and uncomfy. Superb, I should just wear a swim suit -and maybe a fancy hat to really set off how absurd it really is.

Anyway, today is a short one. But, probably more later. I didn't get as far in the audiobook as I wanted. Oddly, I seem to really crash and be needful of sleep lately. Even on my days off, I suppose it is normal. But, kind of inconvenient.

Positive vibes to all my friends, it is Friday, at least --and for some people (not me of course, but some people) that means an exciting weekend! Hooray! Oh, and lest I forget, Congratulations to my bestie's daughter M for graduating into Middle School, which is an achievement and a milestone worth recognizing! Just for a laugh --here is my volleyball picture from Jr. High. Yes, everyone has an awkward phase --even me.

Wow, those are some huge glasses and some totally awesome fro hair. Go, Wildcats! Dang, I laugh everytime I look at it. Could I pull those shorts up any further? I think not.

Art Day...

I love this little group and it has been kind of inspiring me today, so I figured I would let it inspire you. And speaking ever so subtly about inspiration, Friday the BF and I are going to do the First Friday Artwalk in the Haymarket. http://downtownlincoln.org/firstfriday  I've only done the walk like one time before, so I am kind of hoping it is not all crazy. I like art, but I rarely get out to see any. Honestly, it is alittle weird.

So, I was all thinking about it and made an artistic decision. I've stopped writing for this month. I'm taking June off. I'm going to read other people's books for a while and maybe set pencil to paper, to produce some sketches. After making this decision, I felt pretty good about it. I had a business writing teacher say that it is important to step away from your writing for a while then come back to it and some times it looks entirely different. Perhaps, that is true. I am a little burned out on editing and re-editing everything again and again. There are some books I have been meaning to read, some pictures in my head that need to be expressed on paper in a medium other than words.

With that said, today I had a whole list of important tasks to accomplish --none of which I did. I pissed away the whole day with scrapebooking supplies, scissors, and a glue stick. Making some funny brilliant collages. I am not going into detail or posting pics of them until after Friday as a couple of them were gifts for the BF and his despairingly bare walls. But, I will say they are kind of pop art-ish, Portlandia inspired things that I am really pretty proud of, and think he will like, and when I finished them I felt accomplished. Yeah, I know, kind of corny, making presents for my boyfriend. I am so bloody sappy sometimes it's sickening. I get it. But, that's supposed to be one of the perks of dating a poor artistic type girl, right? We may not be practical, but we can love ya in every colorful medium possible.

Yet another personality facet in the myriad of oddities all inhabiting my brain on a regular basis. I even sat around in a brand new batikied hippie tank top, which was a hand-me-down from a friend. It was like old times on the floor of my dorm room drawing on my jeans with sharpies. I'm not that great an artist, but as I roam the internet --not everyone putting out art is, in my opinion. So, make what you like, draw how you want, sew things, splatter paint, cook something marvelous. There are so many ways to really appreciate beauty.

Well, that means all my adult tasks were pushed to tomorrow before work. It's gonna be tight, but I think I can get it done. I close again tomorrow. Then date on Friday, and working all weekend. Blah, blah, blah.