A Bit Overwhelming...



Good Lord, today was a long one. Part of it, well most of it is that I have been with my family all weekend. I mean I worked tonight, but sometimes that is more peaceful than being at home. I love them, they are great people, but it really is kind of...I don't know, exhausting. Today was my niece's second b-day party, as well, so kids everywhere.

Last night the BF met me for coffee then we went back to his house and watched this really funny show call 'Clone High' for a couple of hours. It was hilarious and the time with him just seemed to fly by, so when I got in the car and it was pasted 1am I was alittle surprised. I made him tell me all about the house he's building in Minecraft, and you can kind of tell he thinks I really hate the game --which I don't --but, (and this is hard for a grown woman to admit) I do tend to get a little jealous of the time it gets as opposed to the time I get, which is probably the root of why most girls don't like them. I could honestly care less unless it means he's not getting enough sleep or that should be time spent with me. I game quite a bit myself --my tattoo is from a video game so I can't be too much of a hater. I was once again struck by how handsome and considerate he was on our Friday date. Sweet, sweet boy.

It has been nice to see my grandma and everyone, I may cry woe about it, but they can be a very good time. Tomorrow morning we are all meeting at IHOP for breakfast. It will be early -very early. Which is kind of good cuz I will get to come home and take a nap before work which I will also be doing tomorrow. Then interview Monday, work Tuesday, work Wednesday, date either Thursday or Friday. Gonna be a busy one, but it should be good stuff. We shall see. :)

Garden of Smells Thursday

Ah, where to start --today was a super busy one. Cleaned the room, did some laundry, filled out about a mile of government paperwork for my student loans, e-mailed people. Oh, so my parents are going to be in town starting tomorrow and going until Sunday. They are here for my niece's second b-day party which is Saturday. I can't say as I am thrilled about this as they have been in town for like the last three weekends straight and a couple of times during those weeks, as well. Feel very much like because we can keep a clean house we are used as 'Home Base' while they are in town, which can be slightly inconvenient at times.

Also, had my telephone interview with unnamed insurance company today and they invited me to an in-person interview at 1pm on Monday. I am totally excited and can not wait to impress them with my insurance talents. As previously mentioned I want a desk job so bloody badly I can taste it and we inch ever closer to that goal.

Found out the bestie will be in town for her b-day in August, now need to keep schedule open so we can do some hanging out that week --which, if I am starting a new job could be a bit difficult, but manageable I think. Very exciting.

Also, made dinner, which was a not great, but not bad spaghetti for the BF, who came over to watch some anime with me tonight. OMG that boy smelled so damn delicious I had a tough time keeping my hands to myself, I kid you not. My sense of smell is not great as I smoke alot, but every once in a while it just hits where I can smell like a wolf --usually it is indeed boys. Like that lovely smelling manager at Zen's who wore Burberry Weekend for Men (yes, please, shake me another martini) or there was an attorney who wore Armani (boy, did I want into his legal briefs) and really...tonight my BF who smelled awesome, I have no idea what he was wearing but he left it all over my bed and I am going nuts, people. Clever, clever boy. It could just be me, but wow I just want to press my face all over his shirt and sniff him like a scratch n' sniff all night long. Powerful thing, that sense of smell, when it works, I guess. --Oh, and cuddle, I'm crazy hormone girl and I want to cuddle my BF like he is a big, strong teddy bear. (Jeez, lame, lame, lame, I know.) Sigh.

GOOD things!

Is this not just the sweetest song. I sent it right to my BF in an e-mail, because I am sappy like that. We have a 'come over and watch a movie' date tomorrow night. I am looking forward to seeing him even though my facial leprosy is gross and I am feeling b*tchy and unattractive. Perhaps, I will simply go with a full on veil and tell him veils are totally in style now so I am just being trendy. Really, there is nothing like a horrific cold sore to really make you look at yourself and go, "Uh, yeah, I may have a couple glaring faults and flaws you should know about." Not that I'm a skank or get cold sores because of youthful skankery. My mom gets them, I got them from my mom. Yeah, there is something so very wrong about saying that. But, whatever, and they are not the STD kind that Tiffany has. God, there is just no excuse good enough on that, is there? Sigh.

Anyway, this blog is about good things. Like the nice, easy day I had at work. Or the fabulous call from an unnamed insurance company asking for a telephone interview tomorrow. Hooray! Interview! I am really excited about that one and hope/pray that it goes super well. I want a desk job so bad I can taste it. Please, please, please give me a job. I will work so hard for you, so very, very hard. And I will dress up every single day --everyday. And come in at 5am. Promise.

And tonight I am taking D to get her things at Walmart as we did not get that done on Monday. It should be very pleasant and I am looking forward to seeing her. Plus, my bestie is giving me some really lovely vintage coasters. How cool is that? Very cool. Ice cold, in fact. So, good things all around. And I am being super positive and super grateful for all the good, positive things that are happening. So, tomorrow I have to fill our a bunch of student loan paperwork, telephone interview at 3pm, BF comes over at 6pm for date. Seems like a very good and full day. If we just keep things going like this that will be just fine with me. :)

Crabby

So, I can go on an on about fighting and continuing to win, but some days, Gheesh, it is really difficult to keep a positive view on things. Today is one of those days. I'm just not feeling it. I am really, really grumpy. Which means I have spun myself a cocoon of self-loathing, panic, and unhappiness in which I am currently languishing.

And not that I am saying it makes me crazy, but I am kind of PMS-ing today too. For some reason the stress has manifested physically on my face in large patch of heinous leprosy (which always makes it hard to leave the house anyway). So, I don't feel like I look even normal --let alone pretty. Then problem after problem. Nothing huge, you know, just small stuff that like a grain of sand in your sneaker feels like a boulder after about a day.

On a positive note, I did get some things accomplished with my student loans, although not totally positive things they did need to be handled and did come out rather mediocre. And I do have mind-numbing work this evening so I will be out doing something, making money. I'm just slightly irritated with scrambling and scrapping together money to have it disappear in a large puff of green smoke. WTF! I'm not gonna say I am great at handling my own finances, I really have never excelled with my own money --but, I was fairly good at handling other peoples money. It is just so frustrating -you save, and clip coupons, and deny yourself things you want for things you need --for so very long and then puff. Puff, puff, puff-a-roo. Gone. So, it's back to begging, borrowing, or stealing again. And really, the best part is that no one really gives a crap about you begging, borrowing, and stealing --because they have it just as bad. We can't stand another sob story, we've got our own to cry about.

I'm just moody. It will pass. It is slightly comforting to know that the world keeps turning, that no matter how bad I feel -somewhere someone feels worse, that you can't get blood from a stone. So, we make ourselves as stone and keep rocking and rolling.

Adorable

Okay, so....I have no idea if the incredibly sneaky BF read the blog last night or just really finished with work, but I got an e-mail like twenty minutes afterward that he had completed his work stuff and what time he had left in the night was mine. How sweet? Unfortunately, I was all ready for bed by then and really, kind of blocked into my parking space. So, I gave him the go ahead to play video games. And went to bed, where I had weird dreams of all the past jobs I had ever had all rolled into one huge job of putting clothing and videos away then forcing litigation on customers for touching the put away stuff. "Don't you touch that! I just put that away God damn it, now I'm totally suing you."

Had lunch with sister K at Olive Garden. Picked up free panties from Victoria Secret and some Orange Ginger Shampoo and Conditioner.

So, think these ones only, in pink and another set that are like this blue with white polka dots. I will blog more, but my family just showed up (surprise) so I need to go hang with them for a while.

Okay, so hours and hours later --yeah, it was a nice time with the folks. Sister R managed to drop enough drama on us to throw everyone's schedule off. So, I didn't even get to take D to Walmart -we had to move that to Wednesday and my parents took my niece for four days to babysit. It's all hard to explain and believe me you wouldn't really care to know. My mom did drop off a box of scrapbooking stuff she had gotten at a garage sale recently for me and it is full of very cool stuff, so thanks, Mom. But, I am bloody exhausted. Entertaining ten people is tough work. Even the dog passed out at 9pm when they left. Passed out. Sheesh. So, I am going to bed now, too. Gotta work tomorrow. Will make concerted effort to stay positive and nice to people this week. That is the goal. Go, go gadet nice-ness.

G.A.G. Membership Reinstatement

So, Date night tonight was dinner and a movie. I really wanted to see Captain America and we did. We went to Qdoba for dinner first, honestly, as far as Mexican food goes it was not bad.

The movie was good. I thought it was very solid and (for a superhero movie) not totally over the top unbelievable. Chris Evans was good, so were Stanley Tucci and Hugo Weaving. Not Tommy Lee Jones --it seemed like they had him in the film primarily to deliver some of the corniest one liners that the movie writers could come up with, delivered as dryly as possible. But, as a whole really not bad, I enjoyed it thoroughly --even though, as usual, some tall-ass guy sat in front of me and kept leaning forward so his head was squarely in the middle of my screen and five minutes before the start some other guy comes and sits next to me so I couldn't use my left armrest, which I really like doing. The BF was slightly more cynical about it finding quite a few faults with the movie even though he said he liked it too. Scale of one to ten, it hits a respectable 8 from me. And the PS was an actual preview for the new Avengers movie so make sure you stay for it. It was very cool and something I will definitely be attending.

So, on the whole the date was also positive, but (and you should have known this one was coming) whilst getting tickets the BF lets me know that he has to go into work late night after the movie. This would not be so bad, or as slightly unbelievable, if I did not know that he had started playing Minecraft on Friday (all night Friday) and Saturday night until 2:30 am. Sure, it is indeed feasible that he has to go fix blah, blah, blah, but it is a 50-50 shot he headed back to his house to game until the wee hours of the morning. Not that he would fib about that sort of thing, but....come on. No, I trust him, I do. It simply miffs me just slightly as I was planning on getting him someplace quiet, wrestling his clothes off, and using my feminine wiles to hold him hostage until breakfast. I even had some new moves and pajamas I was gonna show him.

Aren't those bloody adorable? I think they are. Obviously not so adorable that they could pull a man away from video games...errr, I mean, work. Sigh. Video Games, you have won this battle, but the war shall be mine as I fight rather underhandedly you will find.

Also, when I got home, Roommate T finally got his school truck and new neighbors are night moving into duplex that shares parking with us, which caused me not to have a place to park. So, I had to go inside and have everyone move their cars/trucks so I could get enough space to park. It was a pain the ass and pissed off sister K, so she was grumpy afterwards. Awesome. Plus, now we, or I rather, have to go talk to the new neighbors about parking. "You stay on your side of the railroad tie in the ground and I will stay on my side and we can both get out of our cars without hassle." Unless they decide to be a$$holes about it, which is the same 50/50 shot as everything else. Either way, parking has resurrected itself as an issue in my life which sucks.

All of this has led to a chest full of anxiety and just a bit of heartburn from the Mexican food. Splendid. Now, I need to come up with a date for Thursday. When I told the BF he should not try to invite me over to watch him play Minecraft, he threw back that it has some sort of multi-player option. Thinking about reinstating my membership in Girlfriends Against Gaming, or GAG, --as I was once a founding member.

A Sad One, for Poor Amy

When I think of the saddest songs ever, the ones that make me ache in the chest because they call up the utter hopelessness, that trapped lonely youth, this is the first one on the list. Every time I hear it, which is rarely for years on end, but then it pops up on the radio or in a store, it still hits like a hammer. It means a lot to me personally, so I'm sharing it because...well, I don't know, perhaps something just struck me funny.

Today it's dedicated to a sad human joke, Amy Whinehouse. Yeah, I know she was ridiculous. But, she died at 27 and the world just watched her do it. That is what I can't understand. That we all don't seem to get the fact that some people, people around us or on the TV, need help sometimes --they're just people too. It makes me furious that we all knew she was some kind of freaked out alcoholic drug addicted anorexic kid -and we all pointed and laughed while we watched her crash and burn. I mean is that what humanity has sunk to, at this point? We hole up in our suburban homes and watch the blurred lines of the nightlight TV, and no body takes this girl by that snarl she called hair and locks her up until she can get straight? I suppose not.

By the same token, would I have done it, had I been there? Interesting question. Perhaps. I'd like to think that I would, but who knows. It's just sad. Like all that crap happening in Norway. When I read an article about it they said the suspect was alittle extreme, but didn't seem dangerous blah, blah, blah. Really? So, his friends aren't going to start coming out of the woodwork to say things like, "There was this one time he did mention...yada, yada, yada." Because I am sick and tired of that shit. As friends and family we have a responsibility to watch our people damn it. To simply know that -if a family member is a drug abuser we should keep an eye on them, perhaps make them go to rehab (sorry, Amy) or that if our friend is extreme in his views he does not have access to firearms and fertilizer (or if he gets more than is needed for his yard we help him dispose of the excess rather than have it show up in a bomb that killed people). I mean really, isn't that simple common sense?

I guess what I am really advocating is that 'an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure'. If I thought someone I knew was about to go off the deep end -I would step in, I would do something even if it seemed like the wrong thing at the time. People are simply people. We go crazy sometimes, we need help and are afraid to ask sometimes, it is just the way we work. So, watch, and watch closely -be understanding and helpful and compassionate -and if strength is needed then muster strength and act. Be a good person and help other people to be good people too. I know, easier said than done, right, but I believe in you people. Alright, I'll climb down from my soapbox. I don't usually post this kind of rhetoric, but today I just felt very compelled. Because someone should be saying this--reason dictates that it be said.

Needful Things

So, I had a splendid lunch with Miss Franna Banana. We talked and talked and talked. It was wonderful. She is a great friend with some wonderful insights and a spunky point of view that I really hope I retain when I get somewhat older. We discussed alot of family stuff --her family is just as crazy as everyone else's but she seems to be having 'sister' issues, which I do have my fair share of as I have four of them. I hope to do it again soon.

The other thing I did today was go garage sailing with one of my sisters, K. We made a haul. I spent about twenty and she spent about twenty -and we rolled home with a Honda full of junk. Sometimes I don't know why I look at things and think 'You know I may need one of those.' But, it is always fun and I did get some great stuff. Like:

Okay, so a another mirror, yeah, I love mirrors, and a dry erase board with a nice frame. Total $3.

Philips DVD player (and it works) $2.  K bought the silver chafing/flambe dish for $9.

K's big buy was this huge box of C9 Christmas lights for $5 --it took her an hour to go through all of them and only about half worked. She was a little disappointed, but still says they were a good buy.

And this not-so-little gem. It is really huge like probably 3.5 ft by 2.5 ft and in person it looks super classy. They wanted $25, but I got it for $15. Really the frame and matting in it are worth at least $15, so I am super happy with it. I even like the vase in the picture. Classy.

Not pictured items -got a sit up and watch movies in-bed pillow for 75 cents, five books for a quarter a piece so $1.25, a Calvin Klein olive corduroy fitted jacket for $1, a Christmas scrapbook cover retailing for ten dollars I paid $1, and I even picked a little something up for a friend of mine having a b-day soon so I can't talk about it (but, I was super surprised to find it at a Nebraska yard sale and think she will go ga-ga over it). So, it was a good day. Not as many yard sales out as we thought there would be, but the ones we hit were super nice and all the sellers were really lovely friendly people so it was a very good time. 

Need To Laugh Until You Pee?

Cannot stop laughing at this. OMG --I love those troopers. And just in case this didn't hands down make your friggin' day. Here is one that is just as funny. I'm not kidding. Mr. S never gets old. "Uhm, Can I wear Kyle?" Classy. http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6559648/the-problem-with-jeggings-continue

Winning Evening!

Guess who is a crazy winner tonight? Yeah, me, me, me! The Extreme Barbeque Extravaganza went over spectacualarly. I mean really, really fun. The ribs were great, the pasta salad was good, the corn on the cob was excellent --the only rather notable failure were the pies, which I thought were definitely sub-par for my usual pies, which is kind of terrible considering the regular ones are really great and these were just so sad and not very tasty comparatively. Still the BF said he enjoyed it so I let him take a whole one home.

And guess who won Yahtzee -again me, me, me! I hardly ever win Yahtzee so I was all like "In your face K!" That is one of the cool parts about playing board games with family. We tend to talk trash like no other. And both K and T's comic timing were right on tonight. I like to think of myself as the funny one as we both already have titles like 'the smart one' and 'the pretty one' devied up, but sometimes she really is totally hilarious and a lot of fun. And the dog really warmed up to the BF, they played ball for a long time this evening. He did not have much luck at the Yahtzee, but that is okay, he is technically on my team anyway so 'we' won. I Yahtzeed in fives. Woohoo!

The BF got a haircut and really, it looked very hot on him. And surprise there was middle of the week making out at my house! Double Woohoo! It was surprising and great and as usual, I wanna do it all the time. And then he is going to take me to see Captain America this weekend! I get anymore excited about this boy and I'm just gonna wet my pants. But, wait there's more....I sent him a funny Huey Lewis and the News video on Monday (my dad listened to them all the time when I was a kid and I had all their tapes) and that ultra considerate man brought me the vinyl for their album 'Sports'. How incredibly cute and thoughtful? God, I just wanna squeeze'em and love'em --how awesome!

Hope everybody else's night went as well as mine did. I'm going to bed one happy girl tonight.

Countdown to Extreme BBQ Extravaganza!

Did I ever tell you that once a long time ago, I went to bed hoping and praying that I would wake up as a small attractive Asian girl? Yeah, well, obviously someone else's wish was granted when these kids woke up. How fabulously cute can you possibly be? The song is catchy and cute too -especially when they are all tryin' to look tough with their cute little tough hairstyles and fake, fake nails. Wow. It is important to be globally minded so here is your Japanese-Pop infusion for the year.

Other than that, I filled out an incredibly long job application and put it in the mail hoping it will get where it needs to go by tomorrow at 5pm, in town mail. And picked up some things I had forgotten yesterday. Pies are baked and look delicious, pasta salad is in the fridge. Toby put a rub on the ribs which smell great and we are putting the final preparations together (light house pick-up) for hosting tonight. If nothing else the food is going to be great. My grandma and parents are firm believers in Food=Love, so tonight we will fill the BF with a ton of tasty home cooked lovin'. I may even make him a plate to take home or give him half a pie if he likes it. His poor fridge is totally empty most of the time, which as we think of the sentiment of food is love, means a sadly vacant heart full of condiments and a couple beers. Awwwh, poor baby.

Also, ready to get my Yahtzee on this evening. Gonna totally be fun. :)

Heather's Cosplay Tips

Such a good and time honored message that they finally made a PSA for it. Radical.

Extreme Barbeque Extravaganza!

So, tonight I'm gonna do some writing. I need to stop letting all the other things I have to do get in the way of sitting down and laying out some print.

Got all things ready for what I'm calling 'The Extreme Barbeque Extravaganza!" tomorrow night. I invited the BF over for dinner and possible Yahtzee or Poker with the roommates/family. Which prompted others to ask me if I had been introduced to his family...to which the answer is 'no'. This also gave me a rather annoying itch behind the ear -as I really have no need to add another family to all the family drama heaped on me - but, it was one of those 50% fatal errors committed by the BF in that article I read. Error number 4 which was "4. He avoids introducing you to his friends. He should be proud of you, want to show you off, and want to include you in his life." I don't think he is necessarily avoiding introducing me to anyone, but perhaps he just wants to spend time with ME instead --which is the correct answer anyway. But, that is all a lot of blah, blah, blah.... Here's the article, in case some of you were lucky enough to miss it: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/11-signs-he-s-not-headed-toward-a-relationship-with-you-2510727/

So, whatever, sometimes yahoo is so off the mark it's not even funny. Grain of salt, People, grain of salt. Oh, but more about the Extreme BBQ Extravaganza --the roommates got a new grill recently so we will be busting that out and making an immense amount and variety of meat (Sorry, Vegan Princess). The menu is like BBQ chicken, hamburgers, BBQ beef ribs, and hot dogs. Then ranch pasta salad, sweet corn on the cob, and baked beans. Then I am making my new pumpkin pie recipe w/whipped cream. Sounds ridiculously delicious, doesn't it? So, plenty of good food. After dinner there will be some relaxing -and probably Yahtzee, as the game has a certain amount of chance involved, rather than straightforward competition. Some smoking, some joking, a good time in the summer time. I am really pretty excited about it. I'm making the pasta salad and pies tonight so they can be cold for tomorrow. Perfect.

So, I'm off to do some cooking, then later tonight some writing. I haven't decided on what yet, but some writing --even if it is just some lame plot pointing or something. I swear.

Making Plans Monday...

Ah, Monday. Working another close tonight. Weekend not bad. Woke up this morning to finally find three open positions I wanted to apply for. Kind of excited about this as they are all pretty respectable office type work --which means there will likely be like a million candidates for them . So, I am re-polishing the old resume and getting on it. So, this is also kind of a heads up to my references if they are reading this one.

Read the first chapter in the Twilight book I got from work yesterday night. It is not brilliant, but it is easy to read and quick. Her style is simple and she uses first person with past tenses, where I write second person past tense narratives. But, it is highly readable and thus far not bad.

Not much to report today really, as I haven't really done anything worth speaking about yet. I need to write cover letters and fill out those incredibly long applications. Movie coupons won't show up until tomorrow (Sister K and I had a debate about this as I said they came on Monday and she was positive they do not come until Tuesday -sadly I think she may be right and I may be deluded.) so at that point I will see what the BF is up to and if he wants to hang out maybe. People at work were all a buzz about the new Harry Potter movie which they had seen and I had not. I was kind of more excited about Captain America. However, the BF has already signed on to go see that with someone else so I need to rustle up someone to go with if I want to see it this weekend. I may have to put it off and go see it when it has been in theaters for a while, which is somewhat disappointing to me really. Oh, well.

With that said I have a bunch of stuff to do before work so I had better get on it. With all of tomorrow off --I am pretty much planning on hitting those employment apps hard and get them out so people can call me for interviews. Cheers!

Getting All Dressed Up...

Okay, so I should have hypothetically just taken a really long nap before work last night. Because it was a lot like the seventh circle of hell. And from what the other residents of the seventh circle had to say, it only gets worse from here out with the dreaded 'Back to School' season fast approaching which will hit several sections really hard like boys and girls clothing. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever.

I am hoping that with the whole 'Back to School' season that looking for other jobs will also get easier. I am, of course, still looking, but pickings are slim and my criteria is somewhat specific. We just keep plugging away at it, I suppose. I had honestly forgotten how exhausting retail work can really be and how grateful one should be to have a nice desk job. Ha, ha.

Also, surprisingly, the BF had made a nice comment on how he liked the exposition set up in the first novel. As he is a voracious reader, it made me feel really good --hesitantly, good --but good nonetheless. It kind of made me think of how much the first two books really need a thorough editing and a real focus on the split, which has bothered me for while --it seems so rough. Plus, it so adds to the plot issues of the first, as the conflict really doesn't show up until the first part of the now second book. Sigh. I gotta just really thing about it. Maybe tonight while I mindlessly put things on racks I will focus on a better break for them. Yeah, now we have something positive to focus on. Got it.

The security guard at work is a huge Twilight fan and is loaning me her copy of the first book so I can read it. Which is very nice of her and will give me kind of a backboard to bounce some ideas off of, as well as a comparable writing style and some stylistic examples which are, at this point, popular. So, after taking June off,  I need to really jump back in and begin working again. Also, I have several story ideas I had written down that I need to actually start laying down some print on before they get cold and I can't resurrect them. In particular, the plots for the sixth and seventh series novels and that hot time travel plot line I kind of liked. So many ideas....And this does not include all the collages I'm putting together now that I have the materials.

Oh, and I think I'm bowing out of this years anime convention with the kids in November. They seem to have so much more energy and interest in it then I really do. This year D is making sister A --a Transformers kimono. Yeah, you heard me correctly. She has also been gathering things to make herself a steampunk kimono. Both of which I am sure will be splendid looking. Can't wait for the pictures. :)

Hypothetically...

Blogging hypothetically --there is this girl and this boy. And they are messing around -because it is Friday night and that is the only night that the boy can pencil in said girl for aforementioned messing around. Previously mentioned messing around occurs. Said boy is sleepy and appears to fall asleep. Hypothetical girl is wide awake and would like to continue messing around all night, however after weighing all options and noting sleeping boy, decides to go back to her house. Now, she figured boy would want to simply sleep and she would let herself out gracefully --but he gets up and escorts her, in a what he probably considers a very gentlemanly fashion (and what she considers watching her because he is convinced she might steal something) to leave. Also, goes and gets laptop, takes it back to the bedroom and plugs it back in, setting it on her newly vacant side of the bed. It was not really her side of the bed --it is the laptop's side of the bed. Girl is highly disconcerted by this gesture as it says to her, "Shake that hooker ass on out of here so I can get on-line and do things I really wanted to be doing rather than entertaining you, as my plan to look sleepy to get you to leave has clearly worked like a charm."

Girl drives home hypothetically feeling very slutty, like she should never have taken her shirt off, and really considering that she might not be very good at messing around, even though she had really considered it previously to be one of her most excellent skills. In a severely desperate gesture that screams 'Please, find me interesting as I obviously have no other skills!', sends boy copies of most sacred novels for him to read (even though she knows he will probably hate them in the same manner he hated the last thing she gave him to read.)

Girl gets five-ish hours of sleep. Makes coffee, reads stupid Yahoo article about 11 Signs He's Not Headed Toward A Relationship With You. Determines boy commits 50% or more of these fatal errors. Feels even worse. Has trouble choking down lunch, as stomach is rolling with anxiety about previous night. More coffee. Works out to get rid of tension. Feels unattractive. Looks at laundry and determines that messing around has ruined $15 lacy date underwear. Damn it. Gets on bathroom scale. Good news, down another pound -squarely headed to 150. Still totally hypothetically, girl decides boy is just really new at this and she is being overly sensitive. Decides to give him another chance this next week and forget about all previously mentioned causes of anxiety as she simply has better things to do. Feels totally better having anonymously gotten all issues out on secret diary blog. Hypothetically, of course.

Uh oh....

Was also wondering around today wondering why I was alittle crazy and had not slept at all well last night...tonight is the full moon, Baby. Now we're all in trouble. Locked up all provocative attire so I would not be tempted to wear it on tonight's date. However, this does not stop overactive hormone cycle from looking for action in all senses of the word. Enjoy the video, I certainly am.

If I Were The Broncos, I Would Have Hazed Tim Tebow Until He Cried.

Wohoo! So, work last night was a little rough --we were short one person because, as I thought she would Big Fat Jill called in. She also told everyone that Wednesday was her last night anyway -when it really wasn't that way on the schedule. When I got in I found out that the Other Heather at my work also felt exactly the same way about her which was a riot -we laughed and laughed. She even asked about my b-day. So, I told her about all the stuff we had done that whole week and she says, "I wish my husband was still my boyfriend -we never go on dates." She even invited me out for a late b-day drink sometime, she is very cool really.

It really got me to thinking about how I should be savoring this 'dating' period a little more than I have been. Sure, somedays it is tough to come up with the money to do it and sometimes I do kind of crave the relaxing familiarity of like year five of a relationship. But, right now everything is new and exciting and fun --even though by the same token it causes anxiety and some worrying about stuff I don't normally worry about much (Is there ever a good time to fart around anyone, ever? Sigh. And yes, girls do it too -everyone does.) So, I put the smile right back on my face, it made me really appreciate the place I am in my relationship. It's a good place, a fun, adventurous place. Other Heather also said she doesn't wear her wedding ring because she is terrified of having a horrible accident at work with it, per a rather hilarious training video we all had to watch at the beginning.

Among other things, I got a crash course on working the fitting room so I could cover Other Heather's lunch and breaks, which was interesting. Some dude called in for what I heard as 'ankle bracelets' for men. So, I called on the walkie and then let him know we did not carry ankle bracelets for men --to which he replied, "Bracelets? I wanted an ankle brace, like for playing sports." OMG, duh. I felt like a total moron, then told him I'd transfer him to sporting goods. People need to enunciate a little better on the phone. Still good for a laugh, I guess.

And the highlight to the day, other than my looming coffee date with the adorable BF, my Bestie has decided to start an all female fantasy football league, even with the lockout, and has invited me, yes, ME, to join. I'm so freaking excited about it. I even have been throwing around some names for my team or whatever it is. Plus, it is a good environment to learn to really do it right and get the skills to do some real ass kicking in a league later involving gentleman. And trash talk, both the Bestie and myself love to trash talk and are very competitive, so this should give us a good place to do some of that. My sister has threatened to get me a Tim Tebow jersey, maybe I will make that my fantasy football uniform. God, I hate you, Tim Tebow.

Don't Be Fooled....

So, last night was date 1A. Friday will be date 1B this week. It's lovely. Because I really like seeing him. And I swear to God, if he gets much cuter...one day I will wake up next to a very nerdy Carebear. Found out somebody is incredibly ticklish --looks like there is now a 0% chance he will be winning any argument with me, ever.

So, we met up at Boston Market and had a nice dinner. They make hella good mashed potatoes. Then we came back to my place and watched 'The Warrior Way', which per the previous blog was really very good, in my opinion. Visually pretty, totally unbelievable, and had Geoffrey Rush in it. Plus, ninja vs. cowboys to get us all prepped for Cowboys and Aliens at the end of this month. He enjoyed it and we made fun of the immense amount of suspension of disbelief that went into watching something like that. I showed him some of my favorite books and we chatted and had an all around nice time.

Have squarely decided that I am going to start him on reading the novels, this weekend. As, rather oddly, things about him have started to remind me of the hero in the first book. I know you're saying that is ridiculous, as I did not even know the bf when I wrote it, but they are little subtle things. It is a little strange --my writer's mind morphing things to how I would like to see them. Bloody brain chemicals, ridiculous dopamine, sneaky endorphins. Still, I am now terribly interested to see what he thinks of the novels.

Yesterday, I cleaned the room and did all my laundry so I feel like I accomplished a great deal of things with my small day off. Oh, and down another pound (this puts me back into the 150's zone, so if I can just get those last ten off I will have reached my 'Goal' and maybe have a carrot stick to celebrate. ha.) I'm still making art, slowly, by inches, and I stayed up and played my stupid hidden object mystery game for way, way too long last night. Tonight is work, but really, I'm just not super concerned about it. It's nice to be back on the up and up for the old attitude, so I should appreciate it and have some good times.

The Vent

Okay, the blog officially becomes my vent today and it is for the ladies, so gentleman reading please stop now and find something else to do.

With this being said, the blog today is NOT about my BF and I (a relationship in which things are going quite well and that I have had people recently tell me I simply ‘glow’ when speaking about). Today’s blog is about how irritating it is to have every single single girl at my work become engaged within the last thirty days. And sadly, I am not exaggerating to make my point on this. When I became employed at my work –round about my shift there were only three other girls who were single, and slowly, one by one, they have all stopped to show me their stupid diamond rings and prance, then smile condescendingly at me while they tell me all about how they happened to get them. Honestly, I do try very hard to be nice to everyone, but when they blatantly ignore the look of severe, darting-eyed disinterest, to dribble on and on about where and when and wasn’t that funny….I have a very hard time not vomiting.

Big Fat Jill got engaged while she was away on vacation in Switzerland. Really, I bet the funniest part was when her man accidentally proposed to one of the mountains in the Alps instead of his intended troll bride. But, I digress. It’s not even that I dislike these girls, well, I do genuinely dislike Jill, but…it’s more about that horrible feeling in your stomach when you walk up to the fitting room and there are seven women standing round comparing rings and plans and they ignore you –because you don’t have a ring or a plan. For all my positive thinking and being nice, they don’t even ask how my b-day was. They glance at my ring-less finger, while their horrible assumptions and judgments show right on their ridiculously smug faces.

I say quietly, “I would never want a diamond ring. It would catch on all my clothes and get caught on stuff.”

Jill sneers and laughs, “Well, then it’s good you don’t have one like mine. Its one and a half carats, you know.”

I nod unimpressed by the tacky yellow gold of it and the rather common looking setting as she pushes it in my face once more. It looks like he got it out of a coin operated candy machine to me, but I keep my mouth shut. I give them all a half-hearted smile and laugh fakely with the other ladies, while I silently picture her bratwurst sized finger being torn off in a horrible clothing rack accident. And as I turn and go back to my mindless job putting clothing on racks I hear in my mind, “"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” Ah, so that was what he meant –“Beware the Big Fat Jill, my son! The thighs that smack, the ring that will catch!” Totally makes sense now.

*Disclaimer -I do NOT dislike Jill because she is big and fat. I dislike her because she is ill-mannered, lazy, unintelligent, and unduly pretentious.

Tired Dawgs, Rested Paws...

So, it is back to work today, well rested after a nice four day weekend for the ole b-day. I even have some new work pants so that will be fun to test out. I have a very odd shift, but that is okay. Also, with some b-day clairvoyance, I finally decided what I am getting the bestie and the bf for their b-days which are August and Sept. And this year I have some kids to get gifts for too -The niece's 2nd b-day is August 1st and my cousin looks like her little baby will be born approx August 10th-ish.

Yesterday was fun --it was take D to Wally World night. We had Chinese for dinner and then got all her shopping and laundry done. It was fun. Then the sisters three watched the recorded Miss Marple together. Sure it's no Poirot, but anything Agatha Christie is great. D is about to get a promotion at work -which is awesome-so I am very proud of her. It seems like she is making it right along.

I think the BF and I are going to the movies on Wednesday. I e-mailed him at the beginning of the week and told him I had both Wednesday and Friday open this week. And I don't know, sometimes it still amazes me when people want to spend time with me, he said he wanted both nights. Even as I write it, it kind of makes me giddy, feel special. It seems like a very small thing, but sometimes it is a very big thing, know what I mean? The subtle way it lets you know that you are important to another person.

I've been making more droll art pieces the last two days and I feel like it is going well. Some of it I really like. Some of them are gifts, so I have not posted anything yet, as far as pictures, but I might sometime soon. I also picked up a hidden object game and have been playing it since last night. Dang, I remember why I wasted so much of my time previously playing them. Super addictive. I also get this weird picture in my mind of two desks set-up in the bf's office each of us hooked up to our respective computers. "Love ya, Baby."....click, click, click...."Yeah, ditto, Honey. What level are you on?"....click, click, click. Totally makes me laugh and laugh.

Songs We Sing...

Once again on youtube late at night and stumbled across something good to share. Well, in my humble opinion, of course. :)

Party Like It's Your What?

I got this video in an e-mail on facebook from a guy my college roommate dated that I wanted to date, like ten years ago. It is friggin' hilarious. And yes, it's totally my birthday.

And, as I may or may not have told the readership, I am a little superstitious about some weird things. One of these things is that I pretty much gauge how the whole year of my life will go from how my birthday went, and really, it has been pretty right on in the past. 25 sucked a big one -woke up with a huge bug on my arm, the rest of year 25 did not go any better at all. Now, with this said, you are about to ask how this one went. Well, the answer is...Friggin' Spectacular.

So many cool things happened and really it's like I have been celebrating it for the last whole week. Think Carnival in Brazil, it has been alot like that. Plus, right now -as in this second, I am eating a wonderful Lemon Truffle cake and drinking champagne in the lovely air conditioning, thinking about how cool the last week has been. I got some art supplies while we were out today and I am back to making fun collages with witty saying involved on them. Major fun. --I think it is those art trips that does it, but it is an awesome side-effect.

Now I am headed downstairs to watch 'The Warrior's Way' which is kind of like Cowboys and Aliens, only it is Cowboys and Ninjas. I bought it without seeing it, so I hope it is at least decent, but I have high hopes for it. And man oh man, this cake is great --so is eating it too, really.

Art Date 2: The action packed sequel

So, after getting home very early this morning, I went to my place of employment and bought some serviceable khakis for work. Then I came home, worked out, ate a sausage biscuit, and took a brief nap. Got up --and got ready for my b-day art date with the BF.

It was so-o-o-o-o much fun. We did however only get to spend about two hours looking around as they closed at a ridiculous 4pm today. One of the really good ones is shown above, it is called 'The Return of Spring.' I thought it was really very good. Says spring to me pretty concisely. However, really there is nothing cooler than being right there in front of it and seeing that it is a huge painting -not just a tiny picture on a blog. The brightness of it and texture of it. Yet another wonderful thing to make you stop and appreciate art. Painting was the photography of the previous centuries. Beautiful and still around to be appreciated. It makes me want to take more corny pictures to leave for posterity.

Then we went for dinner at a southwestern restaurant called Stokes, it was pretty good and they make a very good corn chowder that I was very impressed by. And the whole time, we are chit-chatting and making jokes and just enjoying being around each other. The BF is an excellent driver, by the way, which I never take for granted as I am kind of bad driver. Then we came back to Lincoln and he came back to my house and we just watched 'G.I. Joe' in my room. I mean, I feel asleep a couple of times, but he was nice enough not to call me on it and let me sleep on his arm for a while. What a great guy and what a great day. Time with excellent people is one of the best gifts a person can receive for their birthday and I got it in spades from quite a few people I know who are cool recently -family included. :)

Welcome To Cloud 9

I count myself lucky in a great many things. Really. I have a lot to be grateful in my life --almost all the time. One of the huge things I am really lucky to have is the great people.

Yesterday was a really busy one. Got up relatively early and went shopping with the bestie on her last day in town. Picked up a dress that I had been eyeing for about three months, which finally went clearance yesterday, so I got it for 50%. Yellow, is definitely the color for this summer. And some foaming hand soaps from Bath and Body works. Then we hung out in the pool for a couple of hours. Got to see the family briefly -at least my Grandma and sister 5, while the little sister picked up her first new car ever. My grandma also got me a nice card for my b-day.

And not to discount all these spectacular encounters, but one of the best parts of my day was my date last night with the BF. The adult mac and cheese at Granite City was splendid, then we had coffee at the south Mill, complete with homeless lunatic interrupting our conversation to say 'Great way to meet an extraterrestrial...'. Then adjournment to the BF's bachelor pad for some quality time together.

This is going to sound cornier than cornbread, but you know I really had given up on being with someone else --I had simply accepted the fact that my 'someone' that my mom had always said was out there, had been hit by a bus or died of malaria in some far off jungle while hunting for relics. However, this was not true. Like most good things, I had to wait for him. And he is simply perpetually late, that's all, which is actually kind of endearing. Having him now is incredible, he is so good to me and sweet and just exactly what I had been missing all this time. There's really just no better way to put it. Yep, I just love him and love him --that movie-esque, ridiculous, walking on sunshine kind of in love. It feels superb.

Burned....

Holy crap, so they say that the better the time the more you pay of it later. I am paying severely --the blog previously only extolled the virtues of my friends great sunblock --it did not list that it needed to be reapplied intermittently for effectiveness. I am so bloody red. My shoulder looks like I spilled paint down my swimsuit lines. Owwwwch and it hurts.

I am blogging wasted, so please excuse the misspellings. I had a wonderful day --really nice. All afternoon floating and drinking in the pool --Blissful. However, now I am bright red all over, I hurt and am producing my own heat from my dermis and had to be rubbed down with lotion by a thoughtful family member. It feels like I have been lit on fire. Damn it. I even have an ice pack on my shoulder and it is doing nothing. I have gook on my contact, so pirate eyed driving home while not so sober, but made it fine and safe going slow,  and when I got home I found out that the air-conditioning in the house has broken --so I am so hot right now --so very, very hot, like the sun.

The bestie and I hit the bars this evening and made it to 1 am-ish. Much fun was had by all--we hit N-Zone, Jake's for cigars -like a Boss, and ended up at Something-Something International for late night drinks and mustaches. Dude, so much fun. We chatted some conversational German, French, and accented English while laughing and taking silly pictures. It was MexiCAN  beer night so her dark evil mustache was really well received, while my blonde Dr. Watson mustache simply added to the original flavor of the evening. Tons of Fun. I am so wasted and tired. At least, I can pass out without noticing that we have no air conditioning in the house. --Now tomorrow will be an entirely different story probably, but the contacts are fuzzing over from over-chlorination and re-blinking. Thank you so much to all my wonderful fans, I love you! Wave, wave. Pass out...

Scary Story

Okay, so I got up early and went over to the bestie's folks house and we hung out in the pool. And chatted and chatted. Then ate cheese smash-wiches and had some carrots. Then hung out in the pool. It was a really nice day for it and really she has the best sunscreen ever. Ever. It's Neutrogena Ultra Sheer spray on sunblock at like 100 spf --totally none greasy and works and smells really good to. I have to find it and pick up about a gallon of it.

While in the pool there appeared a spider hanging above the water. It appeared to put out silk from the sky and just hang there over the pool ominously. Weird. Sky spider. It was the size of a pinhead, but we all swam to the other side of the pool, just in case. Because it was a spider and they are not to be trusted under any circumstances. Ever. They are crafty and conniving and vicious. Plus, they enjoy scaring for spite, which is just rude. And I cannot abide rudeness.

I cannot wait for tomorrow when we can just float around the pool and drink slushies. I have to go to work tonight at 5:30 so it was nice, but no fun to have to drop and run home to change and get ready. Still, what a blast. The only thing better is hot tubing. I really, really love hot tubing -could do that any day of the bloody year. So, yeah, super fun day and tomorrow is going to be just as exciting, plus the bestie is going to help me figure out the prefect outfit for my b-day museum date. Things are finally coming up roses, so it is about time to stop and smell them for a while.

Yeah, I've got those moves...

Dang, this is a great new song. Super catchy, I'm warning you. And you know I love those 'Brown Sugar' moves Jagger has...

Battle Tunes...

Just a quick post today --I like this song because it is a catchy way to put forth that what does not kill us makes us stronger....(or stranger, if you are an Aeon Flux fan). I am trying to head into my fifth consecutive closing shift with a brave sentiment, so I needed battle tunes. Bloody hell, I am exhausted.

Now, they keep telling us that no one goes to my place of employment on the 4th. I would reason that everyone would think we would be closed so they would not come in. So --we are closed --tell all your friends. Go to your barbeques and firework displays and if you desperately need something you have forgotten --get it from HyVee. I am hoping we will get out early, so I can get plenty of sleep for when I go back and close again tomorrow. Deep breath and go...

Kind of Lucky...

Yeah, I really can appreciate a best friend, because really not that many people like 'gingers' so they are hard to come by.

Sheesh, just got an e-mail from the bestie, who had a rather wild night in Omaha concerning her cousin's bachelorette party --and really her family drama sometimes just puts mine to shame. Had it been my cousin, I would have walked plain and simple. I know that the stress surrounding a wedding, and believe me I've been involved in enough to know, is tough, but being Bridzilla Rex does no good to anyone and being ungrateful will get you a punch in the face.

Anyway, we are hanging out on Wednesday and the bestie wants to stop by and say 'hi' on Tuesday --which is rather dangerous considering I will be on the sixth and final day of closing at work and already have been searching for good excuses (or not so great excuses) to not go in ---but, I gotta go in anyway. I just have to, even if I don't really want to. I am totally excited to see her even if I have no $ to do anything fun. We have things to chat about and catch up on and I have no idea how she feels about summer fashion right now. That is just strange. Or music she's listening to that I should be listening to. Or her new vegan menus. Dang.

And really --thank God for my bestie and my boyfriend for giving me some totally excellent things to look forward to this week, because today I am wearing down a little. Okay, like a lot. I am tired and my shoulders hurt and even with my magnificent insoles my feet hurt a bunch this morning. Still, I have great things to look forward to -with some awesome people -so I am in good spirits and might just make it though okay. I am still teeth chatteringly excited about the museum on Saturday and it is a carrot on a stick infront of me to think that Wednesday I get to hang in the pool and get wasted with the bestie. I am lucky, so very, very lucky that people care about me, want to hang out with ME. It's a great feeling -makes you all warm and fuzzy- and I would never take you guys for granted, not ever. Yes, I will wear your tuxedo t-shirt with pride and harbor, quietly, feelings that you might just be a little prettier than me and be okay with that. Yes, I do give head in the car, if the trip is an hour or longer. Just yes, yes, yes -- today I am grateful like a muthafu*ker.

Digging A Hole In The Sand....

So, work went pretty much how I expected --which was not well, at all. It was a long amount of drudgery, however, it was alright. Cons, there were about a billion people and they tore the place apart, some of the girls I work with a hookers and bitches and love talking about the people they work with and acting like they have nothing better to do, and last, but not last I was in no mood for anyone's crap. Pros, got some good news -big, fat, lazy Jill put in her two weeks, Hooray. We did get everything done last night and it felt pretty good, plus for some reason all the boys there are pretty funny so for the last hour when they helped with putting things away we passed jokes and movie reference which made me feel a little better. And after work I got to change quickly for my date with the BF and he was an absolute joy to talk to last night (just what I needed really).

So, a 'for instance' --there is a really sweet, very young, very innocent 19 yr old boy named B --now as we are putting things away the radio is on and that Rhianna song S&M comes on. He is singing and dancing then suddenly stops looks over one of the racks at about three of us putting things away and asks sincerely, "I wonder what she means by 'S&M'?" After I nearly wet my pants from laughing, I look back over the rack at him and say "B, it's a reference to sadistic and masochistic consensual play." The look on his face was complete shock and horror and he says rather quickly, "Well, I'm not singing that song anymore." --Now, I honestly had no idea there were still such innocent, uncorrupted children left on this planet, I would have thought that if he knew the lyrics he would have figured it out, but it was hilarious to me. A moment of real comedy in life.

Along with that little nugget of mirth in my night there was my fabulous date --now, you ask what was different last night from the week before, but somehow if just was. It was short like last time, it was the same drinks, same place. But, it was different it was better, I had gotten to change, the crackling anticipation had returned to it, when I told him I had to go home--for a minute there it seemed like he didn't want me to go. And even though I said we could put off talking about the novella he discussed it with me and I was able to glean some positive notes and feedback from him about it, without being offended or defensive (which is part me being good and part him delivering the message well). And guess what? For my b-day Saturday we are going to Omaha to the art museum then to dinner. I think it sounds wonderful! I am so very excited. What a sweet, thoughtful idea. I knew he could do it. He was honestly the best part of my Friday, hands down.

So, good stuff, today we only have to focus on getting through another grueling night at work. Tonight is my Wednesday. I am sincerely hoping we are not too very busy, but if yesterday is any kind of indicator, we'll probably be packed again tonight. Sigh. Thank God for my new insoles and sweet, sweet boyfriend.

Girls Gone Wild!

Crazy, and that's only after half a bottle of wine....

So, Today is everyone else's Friday --it's my bloody Tuesday. Worked a hellva close last night -long and tough and did not get everything done. Found out that the night before everyone was kept until 12:40am. Freaked out. They can't possibly keep us that late, can they? Well, it seems so. So, now I am totally nervous about meeting the BF after work tonight as I have no real idea who is closing and if they will be a prick and make us stay that late. Fingers crossed and just bust as much a$$ as possible, I guess. Shit.

Plus, I am particularly rundown as we have had the handyman here to fix the sink and a leaking window in the living room (which is caused by my bedroom window). So, yesterday I was awakened at 8 am by some guy on a ladder banging on my bedroom window. Fun. And he was here bright and shiny again this morning. I could go take a nap downstairs on the couch, but once I'm up that is pretty much how I stay --especially, if I would like more sleep, in which case, I will not be able to fall asleep.

And my shoulder muscle is still aching --as it is the one I use to put clothes on the racks at work and there was alot of that. Really, to finish this one off, I have the worst cramps I have had in a very long time - it feels very much like two lumberjacks sawing my guts back and forth with a huge crosscut saw. Pain pills are not even touching it. So, I will probably be a royal joy to work with this evening anyway. Volleying back and forth from irrelevant rage to weeping in the fetal position. I really feel a great deal of admiration for women who can just bebop through life and pretend that their period doesn't hinder them at all. Because it certainly hinders me. I am a very good actress, but sometimes I just can't pretend that I don't feel like I am quite literally dying. Can feel every cell seem to cave in and give way to being something entirely fragile and perishable. Gross.

So, I'm gonna take a nice long hot bath and see if I can't sort myself out before I have to come in contact with other human beings. Packed a nice outfit, hopefully I will have time to change after work as I hate seeing my date in my horrific work uniform. Don't see this one being a long date at all as I feel like crap and he is the last person I really want to take that out on. This also could be the worst time possible to critique something I've written as my thinking is primarily hormone driven, not backed by my usual rationale and calm. We shall see. I always give'em a chance, but really it is not going to be a good idea to tell the Rancor you disliked her novella unless you have an old bone handy to prop open the jaws that are meant to eat you.