the end of the road

Mr & Mrs. Robert Lesan --August 8th, 2008

Yeah, i know it should not feel like my life has come to an end just because he married that cocksucking bitch, but it does. I look him up every once in a while to make sure he is still miserable. Today i did it because i had a dream last night that he came back to me. And I missed him. I really really missed him. And yeah he is fat and looks puffy and she is just ugly, really ugly --but, it still makes me feel lonely and i still miss him even though he is a piece of crap. Which makes me slightly retarded. I only found the gift registry listing the date of the wedding I couldn't find an announcement or pictures. --But, God damn it that should have been my wedding. I should have been....... And now I feel like my "biological clock" is a bloody stop watch. I need to find someone right now and get married so I am not left out. What if I get totally left out? What then. I talk a good game, but I want someone on my team. Really, really. I mean I hear all the terrible things about relationships these day and stupid boys doing even stupider things, but I want one--I still want one. This makes me feel like the loser--and he was supposed to be the loser, not me. If nothing else this is a great example of how life is not fair. Not one damn bit. --Sacks of crap like Rob can get married and be happy with their slutty wives and a great person like me is alone, pining to be with that sack of shit again. Why? Somebody just tell me why.

Christmas Cookies

So, the Christmas party sucked. I actually caught a group of co-workers talking about me. Those b*tches. I was so angry. All you try and do is be nice and help people and some people will always be bitter and cruel anyway. I think it must be human nature. Still, I did see a bunch of cool people I used to work with that are cool and nice and that made it somewhat fun. Also, if you are upper management what would really possess you to get drunk in front of everyone who works for you. That is ridiculous. I wished I had taken more pictures..... Oh well. Maybe next year.

Here is one of Me and Fran. It is really pretty good.

So, I also wanted show everybody what the house looks like. We decorated about a week before Thanksgiving. I just get so Christmas excited. I think it looks fabulous.