The Friend Zone

Okay, so last night I went out for the first time since the break-up with my Ex. I had offered the olive branch of friendship to him. I had a nice time. It was nice to talk to him and I, let's be honest here, had not been out of the house with anyone, who was not family, in a while. We have been e-mailing and things as far as not face-to-face communications were good. I mean we have a lot of common interests, I think he's funny and cute. My opinion of him has not changed a lot since the break-up.

However, and this may be a warning to heed if you are wiser than I seem to be, that was the whole problem. My opinion or feelings for him have not really changed at all (Even if I have thoroughly convinced myself they have totally changed and I'm not the one hopelessly waiting for him to change his stupid mind about me). So, yeah, of course I want to be around him --he's gentlemanly, attractive and fun, and I still like him 'that way'. But, in breaking up with me --I have been the one demoted to 'friend'. It is effectively saying, "Hey, I like you, but not enough to date you."

What's worse is that -and I was literally told that I needed to NOT react like this by someone when I told them that I was going to be friends with him - even though I feel very confident in how I look and feel about myself, I would still drop everything if he asked to date me again. How ridiculous is that? When I know it's not going to happen, it's a solid fact. I realized this briefly, but what really hit the nail on the head was this picture right here (below). The gentleman in this photo is in the friend zone and still likes his Ex-girlfriend sitting across the table. His positioning is leaning toward her, interested, ready --hers is back, removed and away. This was pretty much how we looked having coffee tonight.

So, what to do about this....as this arrangement simply will not work. Yeah, I'm not stupid. I see what he is getting out of this and it's rather unfair for me to short-change myself so much that I have to hang out with someone I want, but have no chance of having. Hmmm. So, I've decided to handle this in a rather unconventional manner. The advice books say cut all ties and walk, but, I'm not great with advice books. So, I fix what I can fix --me. Henceforth, I banish him to the 'Friend Zone'. Sometimes, what is really needed is an attitude change. I need to think about this like I was the one who broke-up with him and sent him to the Zone.

I'm not gonna wait around. I have plenty of people e-mailing me for a date now. I'm going to start giving them a chance, rather than sadly wishing the Ex would invite me to cuddle for awhile (which rather sadly I did tonight, but never again. I'm at least smart enough to see this and admit it is wrong). F*ck that.



Sure, I liked him. I like him still. I mean, he has no chance with me anymore, but hey, I'm sure that's fine with him. So, settled. I am so strong enough to do this. So, in conclusion, we had dinner, with a friend, it was fun. Next week or the week after, I'm going to have a real date to go on and it's gonna be great. :)