Oka-a-ay, so I thought the day was going well. I should have known better -I once again fooled myself into a lovely place of denial and happy thoughts. So, what's bringing me low you would ask...
Woke up like a heat attack victim at 5:13 am this morning, from a horrific spinning nightmare, which went a little something like this. Making out with BF, this is the good part, however, he insists I sleep upon the couch if I stay at his place. So, in the dream I go to sleep on the couch, and wake up naked in the middle of his family Christmas. Holy Sh*t. I don't know anyone and everyone is pointing and saying things about how slutty I am. It was humiliating. I woke up shaking and sweating, with that general feeling of dread and anxiety that lasts all day.
I went back to sleep to try and get some rest (as I will be closing for the first time tonight), sleep in until 11:00 am, having repeat of previous dream. Roll out feeling like I have been jogging all night. Go downstairs and roommate T is eating MacDonald's says straight out -didn't get any for you (however he did get some for K because hers in the fridge when I go to get at pop). Not terrible, I don't really expect him too, but boy, it smelled really good. Take vitamins, K has walked to get her nails done. I wish once more I could afford to get mine done. Scribbled on a pad on the table is a note saying that I should do the dishes --even though T has had the whole weekend to do nothing but sit on his ass.
Fine, do the dishes angrily, not really caring if they get clean. Pissed off now. Finish dishes, go back up to check e-mail and have e-mail from previous work saying that the two rather low level CS positions I applied for will not be calling me for interviews. Odd -and depressing and frustrating. I thought I left the company on good terms, but it seems to me the company may not have had the same feelings for me. Oh, well, will look elsewhere for supplementary employment. Still, it does not help my general malaise. I had been a little excited to go back and have a normal schedule. Rather sad.
So, that is about up to now. However, rays of sunshine --the BF send me an audio book, which is really very good. I have listened to the first chapter and it is enthralling. Thank you, Sweet Loving Boy. Also, bestie's blog is up and she is doing fun things which make me smile. She is so funny. Very uplifting just when you need it.
With that said, I am in the tub to clean up before work and pray that work will not be super crappy tonight. As shift ends at Midnight, I will probably be coming home and straight hop into bed. Wednesday's agenda will begin with searching for more fun jobs, etc. and probably listening to the whole rest of the audiobook, which is free by the way.
Which, if the readerships is interested, is:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-disappear-completely/id117388236
So, we attempt to keep our head down today and blend in with the crowd --"What, me? No, I'm not a fox, I'm just a silly red dog. Foxes, can't stand'em."
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