Missing My Buddy

So, maybe it's the stupid music video, maybe it's the weather, maybe it's something else, but today I miss my dog. I miss him a whole bunch. So, in between the errands this morning and the dinner plans I have this evening. I wanted to talk about it --in the anonymous way that working through things in my secret diary blog helps me talk things out.

I got that dog in the same way that some people have a baby when they see their relationship is ending to try and save it. I had been with my ex-bf for six years and I wanted a dog. So, I got one. In much the same way that that baby may not save a marriage, the dog had little to do with how it ended. However, after being cheated on and left, he really helped me to get out of bed everyday and continue to live and grow afterwards. He seemed to understand that that guy was not coming back so it was okay to take up his side of the bed and he was always more than willing to lick salty wet tears off my face (probably because he liked salty things, but I didn't mind).

Even being allergic to him, I kept him. After we had survived the ending of a long-terminal relationship you might think that would be it. But, Cosmo was a dachshund, prone to back injury and hurt his back.  I was too poor to go to K state for the surgery, but I did my best. He was on medicines for two years and we would do therapy together and I would help him go to the bathroom (which is something I never though I would do). It was tough, some days it was massively tough. Doing it alone was even tougher, but we always had each other and he depended on me. In October, he had to be put to sleep. I made the decision and it was the right decision for him and for me. I don't regret it, but I miss him terribly sometimes. I will wake up, thinking I hear him and he is not there. Sister K planted Cosmos in the garden, because I think even she misses him a bit, too. 

Today was just one of those days, I suppose. So, I keep busy and pretend it doesn't bother me. Someone I used to know said that buying a pet was like buying a mini tragedy, but I don't subscribe to that. It's buying a friend who depends on you, a teacher to help you learn about life and death, a small comedian who helps you laugh about the strangest things, and a challenge to make you a stronger, better human. Because to me dogs are the best parts of people --they're loyal, silly, loving, determined, and don't mind when you dress them up in silly outfits because it makes you happy. They just want you to be happy and to give them treats. There is no one in this world who is excited every single time they see you -except a dog. Every time. 

So, yeah, I miss you, Cosmo.