Blogger’s Remorse

Let’s just say from the title I am having a little blogger’s remorse for my last dating blog. I knew it when I discussed the contents of the blog with sister K, who after having a ten minute conversation with me when she got home said “So, we are on our monthly ‘wishing for the sweet embrace of death’ time, huh?” Yep, I went menstrual crazy for a bit and nothing I said yesterday should be taken as anything other than brain drivel. I got no sleep the night before, I’m stressed about the new job, and I’m achy from exercise. What I should have done was crawl back in bed rather than inflicting my obnoxiousness on the world –however, we did it anyway and must now beg forgiveness from everyone who read that crap. Sometimes constant access to an internet connection is just not a good thing.

Certainly, I have been nervous about the lack of physical (which is just me being insecure about my looks and needing physical reassurance because that is how every other dude I’ve been with told me I was worth being with) –but, honestly, it’s not worth f-ing up the good time I have on every single date with my boyfriend (who just maybe likes me for my mind a little more than my body). And I do always have a spectacular time. I like making the decisions. I like being in control. It has nothing to do with ‘if he can care for me in the same manner’ blah, blah, blah bullshit. If I want him –eventually I will have him. And I will because I am a bastion of patience and persistence. I just gotta relax, have a good time, and let things happen. That really is a lot of pressure to put on the poor guy to read something horrific like you might be sexually ambushed by me (if he does by some ridiculous chance read this anonymously, in which case I am surprised he even showed up to the date, ha-ha.). It also makes me sound really skanky, which I’m not –I’m more classy trashy for laughs.

Everyone deals with their insecurities in a different manner, yesterday mine just happened to leap out onto a blog page. Luckily, they are simply momentary. I had a really great time at the movie. It was a great movie, totally made me laugh. And we found out his is not a 'talker' in the middle of films, thank God. We went for coffee and talked. He makes me laugh and he’s cute –and he paid for coffee, which was very gentlemanly. So, yeah, maybe next time I will broach the subject of being a little more physical because I do want to physically express how much I like him. But, it will not be like some crazed lunatic nymphomaniac on the make. Gheesh. Date assessment is positive. Self assessment –back to normal, and exhale.

Once again we are back to our calm center and would like to severely apologize for last crazy post, just needed some attention, I suppose. For Christmas this year I am asking for a muzzle as it seems like sometimes I could really use it. :P