Randomness of a Dating Scientist –okay so lately, being party ‘on-call’ has made me be on Facebook a lot more than normal. I have monitored it on and off, but haven’t actively been on it for any amount of time for a while, up until this weekend. So maybe you can see where this is going and I would like to simply say –I am in the right frame of mind, but waiting for anything kind of makes me look at aspects of my life under a microscope (Do NOT take any of this to mean emotional distress as I am fully aware things are ALL fine right now).
So, I decided, for fun, to see if I could find my boyfriend on Facebook. I am proud to be dating such a great guy –why not link it up on my social network, right? We did work at the same place so as it happens we did have one friend in common (even though that friend IS the incredibly creepy tech guy that used to stare at my boobs and make inappropriate sexual comments to me, at work, when he fixed my computer) so it was relatively easy. Now, the bf has said that he doesn’t really even Facebook at all, which is cool, very fine with me. I do because there are certain people that I am only connected to through Facebook and I have a sick people watching fetish which makes me severely enjoy hearing tiny details of peoples lives –or catching them when they have new babies, or get married, or just have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So, with that said, he had some pictures up I had not seen and….wait for it…. I noticed his relationship status is ‘single’ –it was like the only info he allowed to be viewed publicly.
Now, as I squarely updated to ‘in a relationship’ the date before last, this put me in a bit of an odd position, as you might imagine. No girl wants to appear as the overly eager beaver, right? With that said –I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. I don’t, it’s overrated and gives you IBS to worry too much about little crap like that. It’s also part of what makes me totally awesome. However, it once more watered that fertile seed of doubt, ever present in the female mind (probably more so in my mind as my last ‘in a relationship’ really loved fucking with my mind, cheating on me, and generally using me as a stepping stone until he found a much younger, dumber girl to do it to).
So, with a bit of a laugh, I did some research and do you know how many sad, lonely, little twitter-pated girls are tearing their hair out over this issue? Literally, thousands, hundreds of thousands. There were forums and blogs and dating articles specifically devoted to it. I was like ‘Whoa’.
With that said, and as someone in this situation currently, I am going to offer all those girls a little potent advice. It does not fucking matter. A status on an electronic profile means virtually nothing in the real world –where you exist primarily. As I become more confident in my feelings about my relationship, I realize what matters is the face to face of it. If it bothers you, tell him it bothers you –don’t slink around the issue being manipulative and playing coy games, that is fucking ridiculous and everyone in the world knows it. The thing about playing games in relationships is that everyone loses –and most of all, you lose out on a great, honest relationship with another human being (who is just a nervous, insecure, excited, etc. as you are about being in it). So, relax and talk to him.
**Irony Warning**
Oh, and if my bf does read my blog, which I pretend to think he doesn’t, but secretly hope he does and have a little feeling he might, you best update that status and friend me immediately (or at least in a couple of days, randomly, so you can pretend you don’t read this blog to try to quietly discern if I really am crazy or not), because, yeah, it bothers me a little.
I knew the blog was a little anemic -all it needed was an irony supplement. That's pretty funny, if I do say so myself. :)
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