Let it Rain

So, after staying up until way, way too late trying to come up with an activity for my date tonight. I decided --f**k it. I even received some great suggestions from my friends and blog readers. I have decided to stick to the plan. We meet for coffee and decide from there. I will pack the picnic dinner in a cooler and leave it in the car, just in case. I will wear fully acceptable, adorable, pre-planned date outfit and like it. I will remain calm and have fun, and relax and have coffee with my cute smart boyfriend. I will not -tweek out, freak out, or act like a crazy monkey.

Good, so now that that is all settled we can get some things done. After a thorough examination of why we were so very unhappy last night, it came to light that I was not following my own very good advice about being laid back. This is/was due to starting the new job and feeling entirely insecure at it. Which is okay. When we learn to do new things sometimes it is daunting and scary, but I am very brave and really will come through okay, no matter what, so there is really nothing to worry about. Now convincing myself of this simple fact did take a good hour or two of staring at the ceiling and listening to the rain outside my window, but it happens. The world keeps moving, so do I. Even Wonder Woman gets her nails done.

Another reason the rain date is a little frustrating is because it is nearing the end of the month and really my funds are fairly tapped out at this point, so I needed a nice cheap date. Even with a good budget, I started my job a week later than I figured, gas is astronomical, and the $'s are rapidly running out. So, we then have to speculate on whether selling bodily fluids, then finding an outfit to cover up your despairingly Dicken's track marks, to go on a date is worth it. Don't get me wrong, the situation is not heinous yet, but it's getting there and I can't look him in his sweet face and say "I'm just too poor to make it out." It makes me feel...what is the word I'm looking for that means depressed, not good enough, and f-ing ridiculous....hmmm, not coming up with it. Anyway, things will get better, they always do, but everyone deals in their own way.

So, I watched some old Hulu videos of the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy, those cheered me right up. So, very funny. I worked out like a madwoman. Mainly because I gained back two pounds in one day which was also contributing to my very low mood. I know it is all building muscle mass which will eventually help burn fat faster, but wow, when it is staring you in the face from the screen on your digital scale it still looks a lot like failure. So, it gave me a good reason to workout harder. We'll see tomorrow how that one goes.

With all of that said, I am going to go take a nice long bath, paint my nails and just breath. I am going to try to think of as many positive things as I possibly can. I am going to make sure I have my manuscript just how I want it and submit it tonight. I have been picking at it, but I don't like to mess with it when I am in a bad mood, it comes through in the story like potato chip residue through a white t-shirt. And really, I'm going to have a nice time tonight. The outfit is a little boho number I put together so I am excited to wear it out, fun and, just in case, will probably look just as good wet.