Crabby

So, I can go on an on about fighting and continuing to win, but some days, Gheesh, it is really difficult to keep a positive view on things. Today is one of those days. I'm just not feeling it. I am really, really grumpy. Which means I have spun myself a cocoon of self-loathing, panic, and unhappiness in which I am currently languishing.

And not that I am saying it makes me crazy, but I am kind of PMS-ing today too. For some reason the stress has manifested physically on my face in large patch of heinous leprosy (which always makes it hard to leave the house anyway). So, I don't feel like I look even normal --let alone pretty. Then problem after problem. Nothing huge, you know, just small stuff that like a grain of sand in your sneaker feels like a boulder after about a day.

On a positive note, I did get some things accomplished with my student loans, although not totally positive things they did need to be handled and did come out rather mediocre. And I do have mind-numbing work this evening so I will be out doing something, making money. I'm just slightly irritated with scrambling and scrapping together money to have it disappear in a large puff of green smoke. WTF! I'm not gonna say I am great at handling my own finances, I really have never excelled with my own money --but, I was fairly good at handling other peoples money. It is just so frustrating -you save, and clip coupons, and deny yourself things you want for things you need --for so very long and then puff. Puff, puff, puff-a-roo. Gone. So, it's back to begging, borrowing, or stealing again. And really, the best part is that no one really gives a crap about you begging, borrowing, and stealing --because they have it just as bad. We can't stand another sob story, we've got our own to cry about.

I'm just moody. It will pass. It is slightly comforting to know that the world keeps turning, that no matter how bad I feel -somewhere someone feels worse, that you can't get blood from a stone. So, we make ourselves as stone and keep rocking and rolling.