What?! You Read My Diary?!

"Say it. Forget it. Write it. Regret It." Hmmm. This one seems to be true sometimes. So, writer's are the large emotionally aching wounds of society, perhaps - I think perhaps that would be poets. Not that I'm really a writer. The only thing I have had the tenacity to write is this bloody blog. And the opinions vary about it. Some people like to read it. Some people hate that I do it. I like doing it because I think of it as my secret diary, rather anonymous, so I can say the things I need to say without offending huge amounts of people. It helps me work through things, work them out for me.

However, there has been speculation that the Ex-BF might be reading this (or has been the whole time). And while I am fine with that, it is somewhat unfair, in a sense -that he knows I continue on just fine, while I am left with assumptions and worries that he might not be. (I'm still a good person, breaking up is never easy for either party and we all know this.)

I know you're reading this thinking "What a contradictory person this blogging girl is...perhaps she is desperate to try to get him back or change his mind?" Let me assure you this is not the case. I was a happy single girl and shall be again. I respect him and our relationship, however brief it may have been, enough not to do that to him. I also respect myself enough to not do that. But, really, if we have learned nothing else, it is that we should not let these type of life mishaps turn us into petty, mean creatures consumed with anger and dispair. I will not tell his secrets on the internet. I will not be a huge bitch and say cruel, untrue things about him in my blog. I will write positive life affirmations and things that I need to re-read to get me through the day, to help me work out my feelings as best I can --because that is a good way to deal with something like this and it makes me who I am.

My heart is huge, so big that there is room for everyone inside of it. I turn the other cheek because I can take another punch on the chin and get right back up. It doesn't make me weak, on the contrary, it is what makes me so strong and it is wonderful (and painful and difficult). Still, I won't say it is easy, it's not. I honestly am back to speculating if being in love is worth the time and trouble, especially when reciprocation of this has been...shall we say, rather difficult to achieve. Ha, ha.

Today,  I have scheduled some scrapbooking with my sister and tomorrow the bestie is in town. I tried on a bunch of outfits and everything is too big, which made me smile and smile. I baked strawberry mini cakes and frosted them with strawberry mist frosting, they are totally delicious. I suppose that is one thing that doesn't change --when I am in the throes of heartbreak, I bake and bake and bake. Ridiculous, really.