Being Awesome

I promised something more positive than introspective self-loathing bullshit and today you shall have it. For all the miserable bitching I do about my low level job, it's like I said the people at the place keep you there not the work, and the people at my job are excellent people. I think it probably helps that we are all working that really thankless retail work and most of them have come from real life struggles to get even to where they are now (which is amazing and admirable). Everyone has been super supportive and nice in regard to my recent life failure.

Other Heather, stopped me twice last night and very sincerely asked if I was still doing okay. Like she really cared. She even gave me a little rub on the back, not a weird thing, but like a quick comforting female gesture like your mom would do. I don't normally let people touch me --it's a personal thing and most of the time weirds me out a bunch, but I didn't realize I really needed it until it happened and it made me feel totally better. Plus, the boys all seem to be wonderful sensitive creatures, full of jokes and compliments, and they made me feel a heck of a lot like it definitely was not my attractiveness that had been wanting in my last relationship. How sweet and good they were. Jim was great about talking to me and said it was for the best. David got real close to me and said I smelled really great and sang me a silly song. Tony was just super nice and said if there was anything I needed like an extra break I should take it, that he would cover for me. It was....well, it was simply very surprising to me.

I was in hardlines for the third time ever and it was Back to School weekend so the store was a bloody madhouse --which meant a lot of stress, especially since I had no idea where most things were so it was kind of difficult for me (a lot of anxiety). Penny told me at lunch that if I wanted to move back over to softlines all I had to do was tell her, she also seemed very genuine about making sure I was doing alright, she asked a couple of times during the night. It was just really refreshing to see, even if it might have been superficial (I couldn't tell the difference anyway right now), it was still just what I needed to remind me that I am still pretty great.

An update on that -- I hit 151lbs today. Probably because I have not really felt like eating this weekend and work had me running like a criminal from the cops for two days. Plus, I have a great weekend to look forward to with my bestie, who I can't wait to see. And, I got the new schedule for the Lincoln Symphony and they have their first performance like the weekend of the Ex-BF's birthday, so now I don't have to try to convince him to go --I'll just go myself. That's right, back to being an awesome single girl who does as she pleases.