Howling At The Moon

Holy Cow, Wow. Today was a clusterf*ck of massive proportions. So much crazy bullsh*t I cannot even blog about all of it. So, agenda was to finish story --did not one word of writing yet as I was simply bombarded by things.

Not all of it was bad. Got to spend some time with sister D, taking her to do some pleasant shopping at Walmart which is chalked full of weirdos and crazies. It was nice to talk to her. Work for her has been kind of tough lately, but then again she is a late blooming fledgling who just got her own place by herself and is working her first 'big girl, real-life' job, I expected a little bit of good natured depression and loneliness. And she is handling it very well.

Had a nice really long conversation with my 90 yr old Grandma Tuffy, she is a great person and we had a nice long talk about all the happenings. She was quite impressed to hear I was dating again and from the description I gave has given my date a tentative 'Like' status. She particularly liked that I told her he does not wear facial hair --which she seems to equate with filthy ne'er-do-wells and hippies. And for the record April 30th is her 91st birthday. Talk about something to celebrate. I say that sarcastically, because it is like celebrating winning a race that no one is running with you anymore because they are all dead. But, that is neither here nor there, as I am immensely proud of her and love her very much.

Sent rapacious e-mails back and forth with best friend as she also seemed to be on crazy family overload. The one thing that really drove home the stress of family is something I cannot talk about. Wild, just wild.

I am trying to detox now. Smoking like a stack, paced for a good half hour. My life is my own. I need it to be calm and stress free. The added restlessness of the full moon tonight is going to make sleep virtually impossible now. Great. At least, I have the writing I can get back too. I swear I will finish that story tonight or tomorrow. I really feel like going dancing. Someone mentioned karioke, now I hunger to drunkenly sing and dance. A terrible need for revelry and levity has gripped me.

Oh, and as a happy side note, my awesome date sent me an e-mail last night saying he had been totally busy, but he sent me a cool album of music and has a french subtitled movie I want to see. Thank you, Automatic Aphrodite, Goddess of On-line Love, I will sacrifice a pocket calculator in your name. With all the goings on and the general feeling of moral subversion I have, I wish we were a little further along so I could call him up and go frisk him with my mouth, gently. I want to howl at the moon, take my clothes off and dance --commit a little safe lunacy upon the world. The restlessness manifests as excess energy, synapses that won't quit firing. Don't worry, as usual, I will probably be right here, locked up within my mind, desperate for an adjective and clawing for the adequate expression of a sensation.