Excitement, right?

Okay, think back, remember what it was like to be intensely totally excited to see another human being? Yeah, for readers of this blog...I did have a blog that I wrote early last night, but did not post. It was an introspective on settling in life. Just settling for things and being content. And all it took was one e-mail. A confirmation that my date from Thursday had also enjoyed himself and yes, was in fact down for a second one. First, you experience the ultimate relief that there was not a one sided attraction, not the expected lame painful e-mail rejection letter. Thank you for recognizing that I am indeed awesome. Yeah, and I think you're awesome too. Hmmm, now to implement the plan of being awesome together, which is harder.

Plus, there is the excitement to deal with. It makes ya look like a ridiculous crazy mental patient. I literally got up and jumped up and down. I can not even tell you how long it has been since I was emotionally inspired to do that. It has been a while, let's say. And because I am a hopeless romantic deep down, that stifled repressed emotional center kicked into high fantasy processing. I honestly haven't slept well in nearly a week. I think about him and imagine what to say. I take little frozen seconds, images from date one, and suck on them mentally like ice cubes, until it's like two hours later and I am wondering why I can't sleep. Argh.

And I have no desire for it. Honestly, I remember how I fell previously and I know it will only inspire me to ridiculous flirting and simpering, then insane petting, and finally aggressively tearing his clothing off like a rabid animal, probably in the backseat of a car. Very unladylike, not mature at all. Sigh. However playing coy about it seems so unnatural to me. I like ya, why not tell ya. Probably because that one puts me in and out of bed like a midnight telephone call.

The only thing that keeps me sort of balanced is the fact the my job/finances and writing aspects of my life are not going as I would like them to be right now. Not everything progresses together. It is a waiting game. I await the publishers and that place I interviewed with all last week to call. The call I expect Tuesday, the manuscript is more like 8 weeks. Still, they progress, perhaps more slowly.

So, we bounce between ecstatic to slightly unhappy, like a damn ping-pong ball. Such is life.