Ass-Kickery

Ah, finally back in the mood. Not that mood...gheesh...that was last week. This week the mood is for ass-kickery. I know all the sentimental flubbering of the last two or three blogs may have led you to believe that perhaps the kind of things I write are full of flowery, kiss hungry, cry addicts, but this is simply not the kind of heroine I write. And really more importantly, if even one of my heroines ever met me they would probably, kick my ass for being an overly whiny bitch. In fact, I am positive of that one.

It also occurs to me that people stop and read this more if the word sex is included somewhere in the text. It is a simple observation, so in the interest of keeping up blog readership (anonymous or otherwise), SEX, sex, sex, and filthy sex. Ha, that's right, now I once again warrant that ridiculous content warning.

It also occurs to me that people stop and read about what is going on in my life occasionally. So, yeah, still looking for a job (please see past post about the State), still writing which has been going remarkably well lately, and yes, boys and girls, still attempting to 'date' which has been a veritable mine field of ooey-gooey blog fodder.

Speaking of which, I was again slightly disappointed that my date got so busy 'working' or whatever to set up date #3 this week so date has been assigned to next Thursday. Don't get me wrong -yes, I am totally excited and sure it will be fun. I really like him, so it is fun. But, and here comes the big ghetto style butt, I am ready to proceed on this. I know he is shy and I know I am a little intimidating in person (probably a lot more than I think), but I am ready to throw down and get busy with this guy and I honestly don't know if he would file police charges against me if I kissed him. 'Officer, we had a nice conversation and she just invaded my personal space with her MOUTH. What kind of nice girl does that?' --Sigh. Remember patience is a virtue and the royal 'we' is very virtuous. So, third date plan is to attempt hand holding.

I was sincerely hoping that he would suggest we have a quiet board game night at his house with a bottle of wine. How nice does that sound? I think it sounds pretty damn good. Of course, he mentioned that one of the reasons he was dating at all was to get out of the house, so fine --I like going out, too. I am stalling on asking him back to my house, even if there is a pool table in the basement, as previously mentioned it would mean he would have to meet members of my family immediately, even if they are pretty cool. And that is rather unkind. And so it goes.

Now an ass-kicking heroine, what would she do? Yep, she would have f**ked him in the car after date number two. Forcefully pressing him against the driver's side door, simply taking that kiss she so longed for with the quick vicious press of her perfectly slick lips. Leaving him tingling from her chapstick and setting up that third date via cellphone before he left the parking garage. Ah, the perfection of fiction, guys and dolls.