I Think It's Me...

Okay, so, the date. It was fun. It is, in fact, getting easier to talk to him, but --I don't know, my balls must have fallen out of my purse because --we talked about a lot of things, but I was not able to broach the subject of 'so are we dating'/'where is this going' with him at all. Now, this was partially due to reading an article, just before I left that said that dudes on a 2^nd or 3^rd date are not in the same place mentally as ladies on that date and they have no intention of committing to be exclusive, they are just there to get to know you, at that point, but that girls read too much into it and f*ck things up by moving to fast. So, I decided to try and slow it down. But, yeah, I think I ended up just looking ‘slow’. I didn't even remember to ask him the one question I wanted to ask --Uh, hey what is your last name?

Food was good. Wine was better. Spilled soup on my rack about twenty minutes in (cheese soup on black top), which made me feel like a retard for the whole rest of dinner. Although, we talked during dinner, at the end, we paid and finished our drinks and left. He walked me to my car and once again, no kisses, no hand holding. Not his fault –I didn’t go for it either. But, there was also no mention of how nice I looked (and I looked God damn hot tonight) or that he liked how I looked at all. I am kind of getting indications I might have been moved to the ‘friend zone’.

I feel so lame. Like I talk a good game, but I need him to make the first move. I can certainly move after that, but I need him to indicate he likes me in some manner. Physically. Shit, at this point, verbally would even work a little. I'm mad at myself for talking all tough then acting like a drooler, again. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am a frigging fool. Maybe I don't even deserve to date. I am so lame sometimes. I carry condoms, but yeah, I will never get to use them.

However, I did manage to man up after I got home, remembering the things I had forgotten and after berating myself about my pathetically Jane Austen-esque behaviour, and sent him an e-mail. I made the subtle suggestion that ‘I would love to invite myself over to his house, but that was rude’ Beep, beep, this is his chance to just invite me over. We shall see if he takes it. I really dislike PDA, so maybe it has been that all our dates are in public places, where I would consider it disgusting to see other people kissing. He sure does have some cute hair and I once again found myself looking at his nice fingers. Heavy sigh.

I consider it kind of a lame save but, hey, whatever. For the curious, he did win my phone number. However, I am not happy to have shaved nearly all the hair off my body for a two hour dinner.