Shake It Out

So, this is the band I am currently obsessed with this week. Ha, ha, yeah, this week, I said it. My musical tastes jump around so much they can be hard for even me to keep track of sometimes. I am also going to the symphony next week, on Friday, with the Ex.

He is kind of a quandary these days. So, after squarely relegating him to the 'friend zone', the last couple times going out with him --he has acted like a better boyfriend than he did when he was my BF. He shows up early. This is huge as he was late kind of a lot and this was a point of contention to me. Really, now you choose to be early and show that I am worth the time? Was I maybe working too hard to have him like me when I liked him? Who knows on that one. Conversation is still easy and good, he's fun and funny. I really enjoy being around him. We really don't pretend we like the things that the other does just because we want to impress each other. We genuinely like some of the same damn things. We are good together and expand each other's tastes. Maybe we really are good friends? Hmmm. I'm still not sure on that one.

Although over the relationship, I do still occasionally find myself wishing he would just reach over and touch me once in a while. I still continue to blatantly ignore the hot guy who comes outside the coffee shop and sits directly behind the Ex so he can make eyes at me....because I'm with my Ex-man, Loser, so stop staring at me because I'm gorgeous. But, this leads to some bitterness when hot guy shoves off because I refuse to make eyes at him back and have been focused squarely on my friend Ex-BF. This makes me feel unappreciated and frustrated, which makes me make a catty comment about how I gave up my writing time to hang out with him (nudge, nudge aka "Hey, Stupid, this girl still likes you.You're important to her. She wants to give you that second chance.") and he ignores it, then ends the outing at an early 9:30p (probably so I can go write...which I'm obviously not doing). I have given up on analyzing this discourse. I see things that are never there. I should have paused the conversation and gone over and given my number to hot guy. That is just that and everyone knows it. Sigh.

Hmmm, maybe next time that's exactly what I'll do. I expressed that I would focus a little more on the dating thing and the bestie advises that I should just approach a boy if I like him, so maybe I totally will. You have to be brave to live in the brave new world, right? Prettier, Smarter, Funnier...and much less single. Say it with me, People, it's my new mantra. Florence says it pretty well in the song, "I'm damned if I do, I'm damned if I don't, so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope." Makes sense. Time to try something new and hope it works out.