Yeah, okay. So, last night I was writing right along and felt a little lonely. What does a single attractive girl do when she is lonely at 2:33am? Well, she checks the 'Plenty of Fish' inbox she has been ignoring for the last six months because she had better things to do. I am well aware that as a free site, this is stinky fishy in every way possible. But, I'm still unemployed, so my options are limited.
So, I troll around. Scraping the bottom of the barrel really looking to see if someone dropped something worthy of being saved. I know that I shouldn't do this. I know that even being 'on-line' at this time of the night is giving these drooling internet pornographers the wrong idea. I have some real issues with this site. I have the option on my messages to block people who's relationship status is 'married' from e-mailing me. That's right, I'm sorry, if you are already married, no, I do not want to date you, you cheating freak. Call me picky. And what is worse, is the now there is a big red hyperlink at the bottom of every screen that is for 'Sex Personals'. Really? Dang, that is quality.
Oh, and Mr. 'I'm too attractive to be on this site, but I'm alone anyway', how about you remind me about a million times in your 'About Me' section that there has to be 'chemistry' or 'physical attraction' for a relationship to work. Obviously, it's done wonders for you, up to this point. And even if I am willing to accept your extremely narcissitic character flaw, that place where you describe how you'd like your dates to go and you say "I like quick and dirty. So, a quick coffee and a ****, about 45 minutes..." kind of turned me off. Wow, I now understand that the astericks part of the evening will be unsatisfying and over quickly, because getting coffee takes at least thirty minutes. Not impressed.
Now, all this written posturing is easy to wade through, sincerely it is. However, the real crappy part is when you find a semi-attractive guy, who says he's normal, who describes himself funny and piques the interest of an intelligent girl, such as myself. (Because his profile really was kind of sweet funny.) So, I take the time to e-mail him and get no reply at all. Which causes critical introspection and unrelenting self loathing for even attempting to do this again, when we tell everyone we are really very happy being by ourselves. See, I even busted out the royal 'we' in that last sentence. Sad, really.
It's like me shopping for a cell phone. I don't really need a cell phone, my life is fine without a cell phone. But, all my friends have cell phones and sometimes they do really cool things. So, yeah, I suppose I'll go to Best Buy and look wistfully at all the different models of cell phones and their complicated plans. And yeah, I'm a little waffly about signing a contract with my cell phone, as those are hard to get out of, but you do seem to get better service if you do that rather then pay-as-you-go. Hmmm. But, I have no money to get a cell phone, so I guess I can just look around on the ground for one or pick up an old one my friend is no longer using, but come on, they are not as good as getting a new one myself.
In closing, take the previous paragraph and replace the word 'cell phone' with the word 'boyfriend' and we've just about sumed things up. God, that's slightly depressing.
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