the end of the road

Mr & Mrs. Robert Lesan --August 8th, 2008

Yeah, i know it should not feel like my life has come to an end just because he married that cocksucking bitch, but it does. I look him up every once in a while to make sure he is still miserable. Today i did it because i had a dream last night that he came back to me. And I missed him. I really really missed him. And yeah he is fat and looks puffy and she is just ugly, really ugly --but, it still makes me feel lonely and i still miss him even though he is a piece of crap. Which makes me slightly retarded. I only found the gift registry listing the date of the wedding I couldn't find an announcement or pictures. --But, God damn it that should have been my wedding. I should have been....... And now I feel like my "biological clock" is a bloody stop watch. I need to find someone right now and get married so I am not left out. What if I get totally left out? What then. I talk a good game, but I want someone on my team. Really, really. I mean I hear all the terrible things about relationships these day and stupid boys doing even stupider things, but I want one--I still want one. This makes me feel like the loser--and he was supposed to be the loser, not me. If nothing else this is a great example of how life is not fair. Not one damn bit. --Sacks of crap like Rob can get married and be happy with their slutty wives and a great person like me is alone, pining to be with that sack of shit again. Why? Somebody just tell me why.