Okay, so I guess my single girl credentials were showing at work the other day, because some of the IT girls invited me out to..dun, dun, duh...a male strip show next week. It think when she said it I actually giggled like an idiot for a minute. I am pretty well versed in the world and all it's seedy fun, but I have never been to an all male review before. So, I said 'yes' and bought a ticket and I'm gonna go. As a writer, new experiences are always fun and interesting and make great blog fodder, if nothing else.
I will also say secretly I would like to have a good time. However, I don't really think strippers, or the typical stripper, is very hot by my standards. My tastes have changed and a strip show seems very much like viewing animals at the zoo. Yeah, they're very good and exotic, but I don't get to touch'em or pet'em and I certainly didn't catch them and bring them back to my house. Plus, I'm not all that into firemen, policemen, or sailors...I am hopeful however that one of them will be dressed up like an IT guy, as I really like those, or maybe a good looking attorney (as I have laid out I like a nice suit). Mostly the thing I find sexiest about a guy these days is the fact that they are attracted to ME, and there is simply very little chance of that at a strip show. However, tell me I'm beautiful, smart, and lovely and I would get down on my knees and just do whatever you tell me to do. I'm like that.
Anyway. I informed both of my on the hooks about it and they both reacted very differently. Which was severely interesting to me as a Dating Scientist. My Enneagram Five, the Nerd Prince who I had dinner with last night, after I told him about it, I said, "Well, you have co-workers who invite you to skip out on the afternoon and go to movies. I have co-workers who invite me to see strippers." He looked very thoughtful for a moment then retorted, "Trade ya." I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants. He then clarified that it would have to be female strippers as the male ones did nothing for him. Which I knew, having banged him once or twice. Now, Mr. EU/PA, most likely an Enneagram 8 if I could ever get him to finish the test, asked if I thought a bunch of strippers would get me hotter than seeing him brush his teeth naked. Then when I admitted that I did like seeing that (and I do, because that means that I got laid which hasn't happened in nearly a damn month) he promptly stopped e-mailing me for two days. That bloody damn tease. Damn it, and damn him.
On a somewhat irregular note, I did come dangerously close to inviting my five to spend the night last night. He left really late and there was a bit of roommate issues, so I sent him home instead, but wow that took some massive willpower and had he simply said he wanted to stay...I would have woke up with him. There was some tension, but he just didn't give a clear sign. All it would have taken was a reach over to touch me, a simply 'I'd like to stay', an indication that was what he really wanted --and that was just not there. And in a grand effort to NOT see romantic mirages, I simply let him go home.
His V-day gift showed up in the morning mail today and it really looks very cool. I showed it to the roomies and they approved wholeheartedly. Then my sister says, "So, are you getting this for your boyfriend?" I backpedaled saying the whole 'we are friends' thing, and she rolled her eyes at me and says, "So, that is because you discussed it with him?" I backpedaled further. She says, "Well, is he getting you anything for Valentine's Day?" I look away and say, "Well, I don't think so, I don't really expect him to." She looks me in the face and says what we are both thinking, "That's bullshit. You need somebody you are sure about. Stop wasting your time on these guys who don't care about you."
Damn her for breaking onto my romantic Orient Express of denial and fantasy with her sound logic. Just climb right back inside your Trojan horse of reality and take it outside my city walls. Stop destroying my imagined city of power, beauty, and peace with you're war-like wake-up call of loneliness and solidarity. If I can just keep fancifully anticipating good surprise gestures and non-existent flowers being rained over me at work for a couple more weeks I can totally make it through the most depressing singles holiday ever. Fight it, just keep fighting it. Oh, and strippers, I'm gonna enjoy going to see strippers.
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