No, I Will Not Date You

Yep, date night already. So, yeah, if I get murdered, it was the guy I went out with from on-line, that's what you tell the cops. I, however, have been subtly sabotaging myself since I set up the date anyway, so right now I am kind of clutching at the positive straw here. But you ask, "How have you been doing that?", so here's the list.

1. Immune system to focused on getting ready to 'maybe' have sex again (and believe me it called up all available staff) that it forgot to work -so now we have a hideous cold sore on the end of our nose. Hence, H the Red Nosed Reindeer. Attractive. 'So, how do you feel about girls with leprosy?'
2. Wanted room to be clean for 'pretend, maybe, probably imaginary' sex, so I cleaned my room until my back is killing me, my knees hurt, and I got a huge scratch down my calf from running into something.
3. Mind is not entirely convinced we should get back into the game for 'now built into mind blowingly wonderful' sex, decides on it's own we should be more concerned with getting to know him by having him talk (great idea for boys, ha.) implements plan by unexpectedly inviting over Aunt Flo. Bye, bye Dream Sex, see ya next year, damn it.
4. Finally decide on perfect dating outfit and alternate. Alternate outfit came through laundry, shirt ruined, shrunk. First pick is still not dry, because I can't run it through the dryer. AHHHH-hhh! Reduced to blowing on it or using blow dryer.
5. Because surfing the crimson tide makes me a little crazy, excitement suddenly becomes anxiety. Keep going over in insane brain answers to simple date questions. Must keep in mind to be interested, but not to try too hard. Personal, but not too personal. Feeling like I should just make a script and give it to him upon meeting.
6. Picked venue I haven't been comfortable in since I was in college. Hoping low lighting will make blemish on face not look too much like a clown nose. Know already he doesn't even like coffee. Sigh.
7. Have convinced self this is probably going to suck and blow due to all previous reasons. Already thinking it will not work out, but still pathetically hopeful that if I just try it will be better for me than sitting here typing my life away being romantic with myself because I don't say 'no'. Shit.

K said if I am this worked up about it that I should just not go, but damn it, I do want to go on dates. I just wish they were easy -I remember it used to be easy. It is simply important to be brave and try. I gotta start getting back out there and trying at least. No hot guys from my desk to the fridge. Plus, today got back down to weight I was when broke up with Ex five years ago. I just gotta be myself and have a cup of coffee with a stranger, who will be judging my attractiveness from the second we say 'hi'. I can do that.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can keep myself from spilling coffee all over my shirt as an escape tactic if things tank. Yep. Prepared.

Cleaning

Okay, so today was cleaning day. I have a severe aversion to cleaning. It is not that I don't like having a clean space, but I hate (HATE) doing it. My sister says I should enjoy the end result and I do. But, my back is killing me and I am exhausted and it has only been like three hours. I still need to sort and do laundry and then put all the laundry away when it is clean. Which being a clothes horse like I am, is actually a very big task. Like a huge task.

I really would like for everything to be nice and ship shape, but getting into ship shape is not as easy as it sounds. So, I am on a break and I will start again at six or seven-ish. I want it to be nice and clean just in case my date tomorrow night goes well. Which is kind of hilarious because there is no way I would bring a guy home after the first date anyway and I would not want to walk him through where he would have to meet members of my family immediately -which would be very unkind, if not slightly creepy.

But, best to be prepared and it gives me a great reason to get it done, which it needed to be. Kristen said it still smelled a little funny from the dog, but he has not been there since October (I finally felt good enough to move out all of his things which was super difficult for me anyway 'cause I'm kind of a hoarder, kind of), so it must be some of the laundry that kind of smells, which is disturbing. So everything is getting a good bleaching. All of it. No place left uncleaned.

I just wish I had a little bit more 'spring' in my Spring cleaning, if you know what I mean.

The Evil of Tuesdays

Hey, it's Tuesday. That's right. Crappy Tuesday.

I don't hold too many superstitions, I really don't. However, I have been absolutely convinced that there is an epic battle being waged every single week and it is the Evil of Tuesday Vs. Good Thing Thursday.

Why do I feel that way? Ah, because bad things happen to me on Tuesdays and good things happen to me on Thursdays. Consistently. Now, today was not bad, but that is as good as a Tuesday ever gets. So, if you lived through it, you are doing awesome. I had two different job interviews today. I 'think' both went relatively well. I will never say that an interview on a Tuesday went totally well, they simply can't due to the evil inherent in a Tuesday. One did garner me a second interview to be held Friday, though, so that was alright.

My Ex broke up with me on a Tuesday. I quit a job on a Tuesday because I could not stand it. The last day of my last job was a Tuesday. Tuesdays, you can't be prepared for them because you prepared for a hectic hella Monday, so by Tuesday you don't have much left. What's worse is that you still have three more days until some kind of break. Gheesh. It's bloody awful.

So, just keep your head down and get through, it's a Tuesday, they are survivable.

Busy Week to Follow...

Yeah, busy weekend. And this week looks likes it's gonna be even busier, or more busy, I can't think of which one is correct right now.

K rented a truck today so now we have to load all of D's furniture today because she doesn't want to do it this weekend, she wants to get it done now so it won't interfere with T's Westlemania party on Sunday. And yes, I said 'Westlemania Party' it is his b-day gift and exactly what he asked for. I will be attending for the food and because I live here too. Awesome.

So, today I was going to clean my room, just in case my date on Thursday goes so well I need private space with this guy, (Which is more of a hope and a good excuse to clean a room I have been procrastinating about cleaning for a while.) but, instead I am getting ready to move furniture, which I really don't want to do. Anyway, I also set up a telephone interview for tomorrow at 1:30pm and have an in-person interview at 4pm. They are both for kind of just jobs I need because I need money. I do not hope for either to be a career and should the state call me I will be taking that job instead, but whatever, I gotta do all the prep and pretend like I totally want them because I NEED the money. Sigh.

Still as far as things go, attitude is positive today and I am ready for a good day. And a busy week ahead. I really need to pick up the story I put down on Friday and really go to town on it. It has some great potential to be a great story if I can just work out some of the more boring moments in it. Great dialogue too.

Well, that's blog for now.

A Question of Service...

Went to Red Robin for lunch today. It is a Sunday, after church crowd was thick and it was busy, busy, busy. We only had to wait about ten minutes or so to get a seat and by that time, having looked at the menu, we were ready to order everything.

Our servers name was Jake, and he looked like he was about seventeen years old. Sweet kid. However Jake was having a very bad day because he was also the server at the table behind ours (who I got to face and watch the whole meal). This table was comprised of about ten, fresh from the mall, over-privileged teenagers around Jake's age, but definitely not his income bracket. Boys dressed in trendy Hollister-Abercombie-what-nots and girls who looked like they were simply posing next to them for the ads.

And they were hands down, some of the worst customers I have ever seen. They treated that poor kid like crap. They made ridiculous requests of him to watch him hop and then complained to Jake's manager when he did not hop fast enough. The flaming queen at the table made an order, then when joked about how whatever Jake brought back he was going to tell him he'd gotten the order wrong and order again. I mean it was painful to watch. Plus, you could see Jake's incredibly frustrated face as he spoke to his manager about it and tried to get the things they wanted. --So, yeah, we were a little neglected at first. But, we knew exactly why and we are good customers who know the value of good service so we cut him some slack.

And then we left him a really nice tip, hoping to improve his day. He had been really tip top about getting us drinks when they ran out and kind of looked like he could use it.

So, this one is to Jake. We wanted to bitch slap those little mall Nazis as much as you did, Buddy.

painting

Couldn't sleep last night for some reason. Didn't fall asleep until 3am. Then had to get up at 6:30am to get to Walmart and buy paint supplies for D's new studio apartment. She is super excited to start living in her little 20 X 20 cell. She wanted to paint it a grey-greenish color called Warm Stone (which actually looked like cold cement to me) but I convinced her to got with a warm yellow-ish beige and leave all the trim white. It looks really nice. Everything pops.

Including my back and my neck and my ankles. I am exhausted. Totally.

On a happy note. Mom bought me some 'date' underwear, which is just silly and funny, and a new sketch book with pencils. I am super excited about both. It was very nice of her to do that at all. She already got us MacDonald's for breakfast. Thanks, Mom!

Anyway, attitude is still positive, although exhausted, absolutely exhausted. Taking well deserved nap. :P

Sometimes I'm an....

So, K & T came home and brought me a bottle of Moscato and a big fat carrot cake. A delicious carrot cake and an even more delicious wine. D apologized for her lack of forethought regarding having to babysit, which she did not even get paid for. So, we drank and hung out and laughed. Especially considering that Mom and sister A were supposed to go straight to the hotel room, which was kind of a relief. Kind of.

But, they didn't. They showed up at 8pm. And we had all been drinking and oddly, it was a much more pleasant experience than I have had family-wise in a while. And we talked and laughed and had a nice visit. Even when R showed up and tried to interject into the conversation about her trip to the emergency room and we all, being already fully saturated with the liquid despair of her life, ignored it and kept having a nice time.

So, I'm not angry anymore. Tomorrow, after a full day of painting, we will see if my attitude is still as content and full of nice feelings -and wine.Who knows? It could be fun.

Oh, and about five seconds ago, I got a confirmation on a coffee date for next Thursday at 7pm (secret spy cheerleaders welcome to attend, in secret of course, to cheer me on) with a hot 29 yr old nerd god.

Hoo-F***ing-Ray!