Dating Anger

So, is all fair in love and war? I really would like to know. I mean it, because if there are no rules anymore then what the hell am I doing playing fair. Really. I do know one thing. There is no room for excitement anymore. If you get excited about a date or a guy, they will completely let you down --and do you know why? Because your excitement is not seen as a good thing --it's a vile, annoying slew of e-mails which they have not the time nor the inclination to read or reply to, then it's seen as absolute crazy, clingy psycho behaviour. When really, it was just you trying to let them know that you liked them or thought they were cool.

My date on Sunday night went well. At least I thought it went well. I e-mailed a thank you to him after the date on Sunday night because I am polite and had a nice time. He let me know that he was very busy the next couple days. Okay, I understand that. I e-mailed again on Tuesday a funny little cartoon, short e-mail. I sent him today a little e-mail with some songs in it I liked, hardly any text at all. I got back something that said basically that he did not check his e-mail often (oh, hey S what are you doing back here again) and not to take offense if he didn't reply or that I should take offense about it now if I were "truly psychotic/needy/desperate/"cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" so that he would know right away that I was crazy. I wrote him back and said that I did know he was busy and that the little things I had not expected a reply on, they were just to be fun, nice things. Blah, blah, blah. And that was it. But, yeah, the damage was done. I took time to talk to him and try to make him happy and it gets thrown back in my face and I get called desperate and psychotic for being excited about somebody I thought was a nice guy.

So, I was feeling disappointed, let down once again, and disillusioned which prompted me to get on the pay site and see what had been happening in my absence as I had not gotten on in a while because Mr. New Guy had told me that his subscription was ending so he gave me his real e-mail and I had been using that. And do you know what? When I got on I find that he has viewed my profile within the last hour. WTF. So, let me get this straight...you are far too busy to communicate with me but not too busy to get on the dating website and hunt around for better. It made me sick to my stomach. I don't understand how these guys keep fooling me into thinking that they are worth my time and excitement. They're not, they're awful. Now, I am severely disappoint and feel a lot like crying. Okay, so I am somewhat hormonal today and I am crying. It's the price to be paid in order to make that emotional withdrawal from it. What a lousy jerk.

And this guy is not half as gentlemanly as the Nerd Prince or half as attractive as Mr. EU/PA. I don't know what I was thinking honestly. No, no, what I was thinking was, "I'll give him a shot, he's older, more mature, and will treat me well." But, I was lying to myself again. I saw things that weren't there. I hurt myself and am bleeding for it. I don't think I will talk to him again. I am really very upset about this.