Cornbeef & Cabbage

On Thursday I will be attempting a new feat. I'm gonna cook cornbeef and cabbage for my family for St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, I know it doesn't seem like a huge deal and other people do it all the time, but let me tell you about how I used to cook.

Once Upon A Time, there cooked a princess with a horrific record....

Incident One: Screwed up flake mashed potatoes. Added too much water, thought continual stirring would eventually thicken potato soup into mash potatoes. This did not occur.

Incident Two: The mac and cheese mishap. Did not read directions on box thinking they were beneath me. Did not strain macaroni, simply added cheese. Applied the 'stir until it thickens' principle with the same fruitless results as Incident One.

Meats: I don't get it, so is there always supposed to be grease smoke so thick it burns your eyes everytime?

Cooking W/ Alcohol: For a while there I even tried that drinking and using alcohol in my cooking idea to become a better cook. I honestly have no idea how this phase of cooking experimentation turned out, much like the best parts of college, I remember it kind of like a flashing rave, some hot guy (or was he), and waking up partially naked somewhere. So, I gave it up.

Baking: Now I have become a fairly good baker. The precision of measuring and reading a cake box seems to suit me. I have even branched out in search of making the perfect moist cake. It used to be the perfect frosting, but I lost my taste for frostings, they seem too sweet to me and very rarely compliment the cake appropriately. This I am still working on.

So, knowing all of this (I hope it was kind of great like a fuzzy flashback), now you can see the importance of my message. It's like a precaution to have the local fire department on speed dial, just in case I don't blog.

The Long 'Arm' of the Law...

Okay, this one is an answer to an age old question that I have always had about myself. Why is it that all my Ex’s become police officers? I swear to God it is almost a requirement that you sleep with me before you get on the force here.

So, with St. Patrick’s Day on the horizon and my redheaded Irish (although very diluted Irish) blood a stirring for massive drinking and merrymaking, I set about thinking and found an odd connection. Many Irish immigrants became policemen when they came to the states, so many in fact that it is kind of an old stereotype.

Ah, so, I think perhaps it’s getting to close to my Irish-American flame that may indeed spark this behavior of becoming law enforcement for my Ex’s. So, unless you like picking up criminals, you had better stay away from my lucky shamrock covered underwear. It’s dangerous and you’ve been warned.

Cheering up --slightly.

So, last night I was feeling down. I know, right now, you are thinking to yourself, if you follow this blog, that I go from up to down pretty quickly. It happens to a lot of people actually, so stop thinking I'm bi-polar or something, dear reader.

In order to attempt to recover some of my ultra bruised self confidence, I stopped writing for a day and just went back and read a few things I have written, but have yet to publish. And ya know what? They were good. Really good. I finished reading, making a couple edits as I went, and felt very accomplished. They are good, they are worth reading and God damn it I am going to get this stuff published --whether anyone other then my friends and family read them is the world's stupid problem.

I've even decided I don't give a shit if I make any money doing it anymore. I'm not gonna stop and I'm not gonna let this ever depressing, ever crappy planet of people hinder me. It has taken me nearly 33 years to find out this is what I want to be doing, so it doesn't make any difference if I'm good at it right now. Things worth doing well are worth practicing. I would not sit down to a piano and expect to play simply because I love piano music. Maybe this writing thing is like that, too.

So, while I'm feeling fiery about it, I'm blogging it to ya. I shall conquer with persistence and tenacity, no matter what happens. My books are fun, inspiring, romantic, funny, and good. Someday the whole world will know. Or maybe like four people. Whatever.

That means I am back on my story again. See ya on the other side of a cover, bitches.

Re-Focusing on What Matters

Sorry about not blogging for a while. I have had my mind wrapped up in my own problems for a while. That's right, friends, I was depressed as I have been relegated to Justin Bieber's mistress, as he was seen in public with this new girlfriend, Selene 'I'm a total slut' Gomez. Yeah, I know, heartbreaking.

I know that he, of course, still loves me as he sings me songs that can only be written specifically for me and dances our special dance moves while he's on tour. I also know that he is super famous and must therefore protect me from the lime light by pretending to go out with other thumb-sucking Mouseketeers and like it, but you know he doesn't want to. He'd rather be with me curled up on a couch discussing famous masterworks of art over a nice glass of pinot noir, while I finally get that God damn hair out of his face with my hand.

And it's true, sometimes he still wets the bed, yeah, he's young, it happens. But, he simply hands me his gold card and begs me not to tell anyone. Plus, it is kind of statutory of me to be with him anyway, so we wait and laugh about how squeaky clean Britany Spears seemed to be when she got famous --still a virgin, sure, we believed you. ha, ha.

Anyway, like I said, I was feeling kind of depressed about it so I didn't blog for awhile. But, then some other no talent twelve year old reminded me how lucky I am by writing a fabulous song for me. So here is the link. Listen to it yourself so you know what it is like for me --because I am not his girlfriend, I just totally sleep with him and spend his money. So, I'm more like a super naughty nanny or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP1WqkqDcpo&feature=player_embedded

Chocolate Pudding

Yes, that's right, today's blog is about pudding. Pudding is delicious. It is awesome and makes a fine dessert.

Honestly, that's all I got.

I knew I should have gotten a Tauntaun instead....

Finally finished my Cyberpunk story. Started 10/2010, finished 3/2011. Dang. I love Sci-fi, but I am not sure I am that great writing in the genre. I have a couple other Sci-fi stories started, but I am never quite sure if they are good.

It's like I tell my little fan-fic friend --I would never write fan-fic because I can't write in someone else's world. I need the control. I am God in my fiction. It is a wonderful, heady feeling of power. Which can only be properly foiled with the feeling of utter powerlessness when you have a block or get stuck. Or you want to make something happen, but the rules you have already plot pointed prevent you from doing so.

I really do love Sci-fi stuff, but then you run the risk of having to develope like a whole universe and people ask you ridiculous questions like "Why would you use a lazer blah, blah, blah, aliens, yada, yada, yada, rebel alliance?" And I don't know if I'm prepared for that yet. That is why I like urban fantasy and cyber punk. Because everyone know what things are like now or were like recently. I am a lazy god.

Anyway, back to the writing grindstone. I'd like to actually finish another couple of things soon. I was writing something really good about a high school return type romance, but it is halfway done and already as many words as my first novel and that is bad --you heard me, bad. So, I dropped it until I can come up with a way to cut my verbose free writing approach. Sigh.

Then there's cover designs. I have the cover for my first book, but I want to publish the stories first so I am trying to get the covers for the stories. -Then it will be on to copyrighting, ISBNs, and UPCs. and that is all money so --on to making money, I guess. Well, paying money to maybe sell a couple copies. Gheesh.

Write or Die!

Okay, so I am writing today's blog, about writing. Because I got stuck. Not like writers block, more like writer's overload. I have a story I need to finish. Need -to finish. It is so close I can taste it, but I find I am never in the right frame of mind to do it. Then I have about four others that I need to work on. And last night I got an idea for a new one.

It's killing me, I'm having writer's ADD. It's like trying to get a guy on a first date to listen to the average girl he took out, when they are having dinner at a strip club. Impossible.

Plus, I am having a physical on Thursday for my new job and I rented 'the Crimson Tide' to watch this week, if you know what I'm saying. Urrghh. And I gotta go get the car re-licensed and do a bunch of laundry and etc, etc. The list goes on. It is incredibly frustrating. Also, my little graphic designer has started working with me on the cover for the second book and I am just not open to ideas right now, so I know she is getting it like a pie in the face every time we discuss something. I am trying not to let it get the best of me but, I am in a foul mood today and everything smells funny. Including me.

So, I pray not for serenity, I pray for concentration, inspiration, and chocolate.